Beneath me was the abyss, ever present, and waiting for me to plunge into its depths and cease to exist. But if I shut out my fear of it, I could sense the worlds Teddy spoke about. They were wildly different from the ones swarming around me—those were all just variations of what I already knew, but beneath me were truly new worlds!

I could do it! I could reach down deep to the most peaceful, serene expression of reality. I could grasp a better world!

But at that crucial instant I held back. My own fear of the unknown kept me from reaching that far down. Instead I hedged my bet and grasped a world just beneath my feet. Yes, it was a world of change, but far less change than I could have accomplished.

The moment I claimed it, my heart stopped. For a single beat. Then resumed so powerfully, I felt I would burst from the force of it.

And it was done.

Later I would have to remind myself that I chose to take hold of this world. Some part of me must have known what it would bring. Was that part of me an enemy or a friend? To this day, I don’t know.

I snapped out of Elsewhere, back onto the bright, noisy field, gasping, wheezing, the wind knocked out of me, and the pain in my side so intense I was seeing stars. My sense of direction was so fouled I couldn’t tell up from down. The announcer was talking about a flag on the play. Damn right there was a flag on the play, I was clipped. Brutally. But I felt an odd distance from the action. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t on the field. I was on the sidelines, and people were standing over me.

“My gosh, are you okay?”

The face was of a girl I didn’t know. I couldn’t answer because I still couldn’t catch my breath.

Then Katie was there. “Just take deep breaths,” she said. “Slow, deep breaths.”

“Let me through!” I heard a familiar voice shout. Layton. The last person I wanted to see. Suddenly Layton was standing over me, eclipsing the harsh lights of the field. He knelt down.

“Baby, you okay?”

I just stared at him. What did he just say? What the hell did he just say?

“Give her space!” Katie demanded.

“That damn Cheetah!” yelled Layton. “I could kill him!”

“Calm down,” the coach said to Layton. “We’re about to get the ball back, and I need your head in the game.”

But I was still grappling with what both Katie and Layton had just said.

“. . . Baby, you okay?”

“. . . Give her space.”

Katie helped me sit up. My legs were cold. Because I was in a skirt. A cheerleading uniform.

No no no no no no no!