Title Page

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Title Page

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Praise

Leffingwell Elementary School

Hot Dogs and Wild Geese

In the gutter

Save Me, Mickey

Swoosh-Swoosh

With a Little Help From My Friends

Bernice

A Dozen Key Chains

You Can Call Me Al

Of Mosquitoes and Men

The “F Word”

Waterloo

America, Land of the Free

The Ham Amendment

Treasure Island

IT’s All Relatives

Me and Bob Hope

I Ran and I Ran and I Ran

I-raynians Need Not Apply

Girls Just Wanna Have Funds

Joyeuse Noëlle

The Wedding

I Feel The Earth Move Under My Feet

A Nose by Any Other Name

Judges Paid Off

If I Were a Rich Man

About the Author

Afterword: - Kazem and Nazireh Jazayeri

Copyright Page

Dedication

To my father, Kazem,
who loves to tell stories.

And to my mother, Nazireh.

Praise

PRAISE FOR Funny in Farsi

“A humorous and introspective chronicle of a life filled with love— of family, country, and heritage.” —JIMMY CARTER

“Charming . . . funny . . . This is a gentle life story by an author who clearly loves her fellow man, and who is dedicated to pointing out the deliciously absurd aspects of both American and Iranian culture; as such, it is a joyful success.” —Newsday

“Delightfully refreshing . . . Dumas’ stories have universal themes people of any culture could understand. . . . One way of saying ‘funny’ in Farsi is ‘khandedar.’ The book lives up to the word, in any language.” —Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

“[Dumas] is a humorist at heart, seeking out the goofy underbelly of even the most tragic situations and sketching out a delightful pastiche of Iranian rituals and beliefs, quirkily modified as the years go by and her family gradually grows less Iranian and more Californian.” —Time Out New York

“A hilarious collection of essays . . . [that] easily translates to the experiences of immigrants from any part of the world.” —San Jose Mercury News

“Recommended . . . Today, as Middle Easterners in the United States are subject to racial profiling, stereotyping, and sometimes violence, this book provides a valuable glimpse into the immigrant experiences of one very entertaining family.” —Library Journal

“Light-as-air essays . . . warm and engaging.” —Kirkus Reviews

Acknowledgments

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

My thanks to Bonnie Nadell for taking a chance on an unknown, for the title, and for always being a pleasant voice on the other end of the line; to everyone at Villard Books, in particular my talented editor, Bruce Tracy, whose intuition, fine-tuning skills, and great laugh made this a dream project, and Jynne Martin, publicist and friend; to F.D., N.K., and S.M. for making my heart sing; to L.P., C.K., K.K., and the Thursday hiking group for showing me that all hills must be climbed in the company of friends; and to my relatives, all of whom laugh without an accent, merci.

Leffingwell Elementary School

Leffingwell Elementary School