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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

Matt takes the exit slip-road and slows the car. Immediately he’s wondering what to do for the best: park away from the central area where it’s quieter, or just find a space in the thick of things as he would do normally? His instinct is to avoid too many people, but maybe that’s signalling to Evan he thinks there’s an issue. He decides to be bold, and heads for the main car park.

Evan’s fingers are drumming faster on his knee, and Matt doesn’t blame him for being nervous. Since he was last in this kind of environment, his world view has been shattered. Maybe he and Claire should have taken him out more, done more to get him re-integrated, but there’s no instruction manual for their situation, and no one’s offered any practical help. Let him take his time is the advice they keep hearing, but how much time should that be? Should they have pushed him harder? By leaving him night and day to his own devices, have they set him up to always be a recluse?

Matt adopts an attitude he hopes Evan will take to be cool and relaxed. He takes his time to find a parking space on a row end, where the left side of the car – Evan’s side – is screened by conifer hedging, and turns off the engine. Evan is looking straight ahead, at rows of vehicles and the people walking amongst them: teenagers and young children with frazzled parents, businessmen and delivery drivers, older people of Jack and Dora’s generation.

‘OK, buddy,’ says Matt. ‘Let’s go.’

Praying Evan will follow his lead, he opens his door. The temptation to look back and see what Evan’s doing is strong, but he resists it. Act natural, he’s thinking, just act natural. He’s out of the car, but Evan hasn’t moved. There’s a man by himself walking towards them, and Matt senses Evan’s eyes on him, but the man’s on his phone and passes them without even a glance.

Evan’s door opens, and Matt thinks, Thank Christ. In a moment Evan is standing beside him – too close beside him, and the closeness provokes in Matt the urge to put an arm around Evan’s shoulders.

But that would look odd and they’re trying to do normal, where normal for Evan’s age would be him trailing behind Matt across the car park, trying to make out they’re not related.

‘Stick with me, kid,’ Matt says with a levity he’s not feeling, and they set off for the main building, Evan almost treading on Matt’s heels.

People are coming and going. Matt pulls open one of the glass doors and stands aside to let Evan go ahead of him, but Evan hangs back, so Matt goes through first with Evan too close behind.