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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

At first, it promises to be a good day for a drive, but it’s high summer and a lot of kids are out of school. The roads are busy, and there’s a long delay at Ripon and again just before Wetherby. By the time they get through the jam, Jack decides they’ll pull into the services for a break.

He parks the old Freelander in a quiet spot and finds the cool-bag Dora has packed with lunch. Sitting with the car doors open to let in a breeze, they drink tea from a flask and eat their sandwiches seasoned with the smell of petrol fumes and the noise of fast traffic in the background: corned beef and pickle for Jack, cheese and lettuce for Dora, though she re-wraps half of hers back in the foil.

‘You haven’t eaten much,’ says Jack. ‘Do you want one of these?’

‘I’m not very hungry,’ says Dora. ‘It’s so hot.’ For a long moment, she watches the motorway, the trucks and cars hurtling by. ‘What if he doesn’t want to see us?’

About to take another bite of his sandwich, Jack looks at her.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Evan. I mean Evan. With what Matt’s said about him being so quiet, I wonder if we’re doing the right thing, going down there.’

She turns to face him, and he sees that behind her glasses, her eyes are filled with tears.

‘We didn’t do anything to help him, did we? All the time he was with – whoever he was with, why didn’t we try to find him? Why didn’t we lock up the farm and get in this car and spend all our time looking for him? What if he asks us that, Jack? What are we going to say? And now he’s come home, and we’re turning up expecting him to still be our Evan, all smiles as if he’d been away to scout camp or somewhere. If he isn’t pleased to see us, I shan’t be a bit surprised. And if he isn’t pleased to see us, it’ll break my heart.’

Jack puts his sandwich on the dashboard and takes her hand.

‘I won’t lie, it’s crossed my mind too. And to be honest, we can’t expect him to be the same boy we knew. He’s bound to have changed, and I’m sorry to say, not for the better. But don’t you think it’ll help him to know his old grandma and grandad still love him just the same? What do you think, that we shouldn’t go in case he’s not nice to us? After what he’s been through, I should think you and I can cope with him not being very nice. We’re made of tough stuff, aren’t we, Mrs Ferrers, eh?’