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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

‘Angioplasty.’ Even though Jack should be feeling better, his breathing still feels difficult, as if something heavy is weighing on his chest. ‘Some sort of stent. They should have done it years ago. Might have avoided all this drama if they had.’

‘When are you coming home, Grandpa?’ asks Evan.

‘I don’t know, son,’ says Jack, and as he says it he’s suddenly homesick, for the simple pleasures of his old armchair and a hot cup of tea, for the view across the valley and the bleating of the sheep, for cold air that smells of rain and grass, and for Millie running ahead of him across the yard. He misses it all, and feels a sudden, devastating sense of loss as if it might be lost to him for good, and he wants to cry.

But he doesn’t want to make a fool of himself.

‘Pull up a chair, youngster,’ he says, ‘and help yourself to some of those grapes.’

‘Don’t you want them?’ asks Evan, but he’s already pulled half a dozen from their stalks and is popping them in his mouth. ‘Do you want me to read to you? We brought a book in case you do.’

Jack thinks of the nights he’s read to Evan, whether Evan in his sleep heard him or not, and it strikes him how, sometimes, life takes odd turns.

‘I found nine eggs this morning when I went to feed the chickens. I fed the sheep too. I think one of them is lame, but I couldn’t catch her by myself to see the problem.’

‘Your dad will help you, won’t you?’ Jack looks at Matt as he speaks, and Matt frowns, sensing his father is talking about more than rounding up sheep. He gives Jack’s hand a squeeze, and is surprised when Jack replies with pressure of his own, a tight grip which leaves his knuckles white. ‘You must all help each other. That’s what families do.’

Sensing Jack’s uneasy mood, Claire tries to change the subject.

‘Would anyone like coffee? I saw a machine just outside the ward.’

‘Hot chocolate,’ says Evan, without hesitation.

‘I’ll have one, yes,’ says Matt. ‘Dad?’

Jack shakes his head.

‘Evan, you come and help me carry them,’ says Claire. ‘I can’t carry three.’

Jack watches them until they disappear past the nurses’ station.

‘You will look after him, won’t you?’ he asks. ‘He’s got a tough time coming up. You’ll have to take care of him while it’s going through the courts.’

‘Don’t be daft, Dad. You’re just feeling a bit down after the operation. They fill you full of drugs and you don’t know whether you’re coming or going. You’ll be home to look after him yourself in a couple of days.’