BooksBarbecue
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Chapters (62)
  1. Title
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. About the Author
  5. About the Book
  6. Dedication
  7. Your Worst Nightmare
  8. ONE
  9. TWO
  10. THREE
  11. FOUR
  12. FIVE
  13. SIX
  14. SEVEN
  15. EIGHT
  16. NINE
  17. The Answer to All Your Prayers
  18. TEN
  19. ELEVEN
  20. TWELVE
  21. THIRTEEN
  22. FOURTEEN
  23. FIFTEEN
  24. SIXTEEN
  25. SEVENTEEN
  26. EIGHTEEN
  27. NINETEEN
  28. TWENTY
  29. TWENTY-ONE
  30. TWENTY-TWO
  31. TWENTY-THREE
  32. TWENTY-FOUR
  33. TWENTY-FIVE
  34. TWENTY-SIX
  35. TWENTY-SEVEN
  36. TWENTY-EIGHT
  37. TWENTY-NINE
  38. THIRTY
  39. THIRTY-ONE
  40. Somebody Else’s Child
  41. THIRTY-TWO
  42. THIRTY-THREE
  43. THIRTY-FOUR
  44. THIRTY-FIVE
  45. THIRTY-SIX
  46. THIRTY-SEVEN
  47. THIRTY-EIGHT
  48. THIRTY-NINE
  49. FORTY
  50. FORTY-ONE
  51. FORTY-TWO
  52. FORTY-THREE
  53. FORTY-FOUR
  54. FORTY-FIVE
  55. FORTY-SIX
  56. FORTY-SEVEN
  57. FORTY-EIGHT
  58. FORTY-NINE
  59. Sunlight on Water
  60. July
  61. September
  62. Acknowledgements

‘Better he’s not there, then. But I have to ask you to trust us to guide Evan through this process, to take a step back. To just be his mum and dad and leave the crime and punishment to us. Can I tell him you’ll do that? I know how hard it is, Claire. I really do.’

‘Is that what he wants?’

‘It’s what he needs.’

‘There’s no choice, then, is there? OK.’

Naylor pats Claire’s shoulder.

‘Thank you. So on that basis, we’re going to talk to him now. Probably not too long. We’ll be taking it at his pace, and if he becomes at all distressed, we’ll stop. Why don’t you go and find yourself a cup of coffee in the cafeteria, and plan to be back here in an hour or so? The latte’s not bad if that’s your thing. I’ve got your mobile. If we need anything, I’ll give you a call.’

When Naylor leaves her, Claire visits the sanitised toilets and splashes cold water on her face. She doesn’t want Evan to know she’s been crying, but with a lipstick top-up and a line of eye pencil she doesn’t look bad. No one interrupts her while she’s in there, so she thinks it would be a good place to have a private conversation with Matt.

When he picks up, she can hear noise in the background, the hiss of a coffee machine, a cashier’s voice asking for money.

‘It’s me,’ she says. ‘Can you talk?’

‘I’m in Costa. I’ve been thinking about you both. How’s it going?’

She gives him a précis of her conversation with Naylor. When she stops talking, Matt doesn’t speak.

‘What do you think?’ she presses him.

‘I get it,’ he says, and then with the phone held away from his mouth, he says Thank you to the barista. ‘I get what he wants and I get why, but we’ll be so in the dark.’

In the dark.

As soon as the words are said, they resonate with them both, how appropriate they are for the place their son has been.

‘Maybe they’re right,’ says Claire. ‘We’re not the people to bring him back. They know what they’re doing, and we’ve just been floundering.’

‘I don’t know about that.’ She hears him take a gulp of his coffee. ‘I think he’s doing OK, considering where he’s been.’

‘I worry this will set him back, making him relive it.’

‘Or maybe it’ll help him come to terms with it. A bit of therapy. And anyway, if he gets set back, we’ll just bring him forward again.’

‘I wish you were here.’

‘So do I,’ says Matt. ‘Will you ring me later, let me know how he is?’

‘Of course.’