“Maybe he doesn’t love you, and then you will be sad, and your heart will get broken.”

“My heart’s not going to get broken.”

Her lips purse. “It could happen.”

Where has she heard this? Because this isn’t coming from Jessica. Jessica knew nothing about Kai. Obviously someone’s been talking… but who? And why? Although I actually know the why. It’s the who I’m most concerned with right now. Jessica looks up into my eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t go to Hawaii anymore. Maybe you should just stay home with us.”

I manage a small tight smile, fighting back the thickness in my throat. I feel betrayed. Betrayed by those close to me. This has to have come from Daniel, these have to be Daniel’s words. I can’t imagine him saying these things to a five-year-old, but maybe he did to someone else. Still, the damage has been done.

“Jessica, Mommy’s a big girl. Mommy’s smart. Mommy won’t let anything bad happen to her, or to you. I love you and William most in the world, and I will always protect you.”

She stares at me a long moment, her eyes the blue of cornflowers, light on the edges and darker blue toward the center. “But who will protect you?” Her small fingers curl around mine. She’s holding my hand so hard, I can feel the pads of her fingertips pinch. “Daddy used to protect you. You always said he did.”

Undone, I say nothing.

“You said the bad guys wouldn’t hurt us because Daddy was there, that Daddy would scare off the bad guys and everything would be fine.”

I’m going to cry, and I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to fall apart here, now. I haven’t slept for the past forty hours, and I’m exhausted from the worry and guilt and regrets. “I’ll scare the bad guys away.”

“How? You don’t have a gun.”

“I don’t need a gun.”

“Will you use a knife?”

I laugh, thank God, then sniffle. I lean toward the counter for a tissue from the box by her bedside. “I don’t need a knife. I’ll protect you with love. Because my love is bigger than fear and hate, and my love is stronger than the strongest man.”

Jessica just stares at me, and then little by little, the corner of her mouth lifts, revealing her missing bottom tooth. “You could be SuperMom and on your cape there will be hearts everywhere.”

“And lips,” I say, leaning forward to cover her cheek and neck with noisy kisses. “SuperMom with hearts and lips.”

Jessica giggles and tries to wiggle away and then changes her tactic and wraps her good arm around my neck instead. She pushes her face against mine. “When the car hit Lisa’s car, I was scared. I wanted you here.”