I smile, wedge the phone between my shoulder and ear, and dump the dry pasta into the boiling water, stirring the spaghetti noodles to make sure they don’t clump. “Kai.”

“Yes, girl.”

I hear the smile in his voice, and a lump fills my throat. How can he be ten years younger than me? He makes me feel safe. Protected. “I wish I were more like you.”

He laughs softly. “You’re perfect just the way you are.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. Now finish cooking dinner and feed your kids. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I don’t want him to hang up. I don’t want him to disappear into his world and leave me in mine.

But he’s not disappearing, I tell myself, and I’m going to see him again. Soon.

Anne and I meet that weekend for a cup of coffee. Daniel has the kids for a company party, and Philip’s watching theirs. This is supposed to be a cozy chat, but the mood is anything but cozy at the moment.

I’ve just told her I’m going back to Hawaii again, and she isn’t handling the news well.

“How are you even going to get used to being single if you’re always running away?” Anne demands, not even trying to hide her impatience.

“I’m not running away.”

“You are.”

“Anne, the guy I’m dating lives in Hawaii. I’m going to see him. Okay?”

“No. Meet guys here, Jack. Date here. This is where you belong. Not in Hawaii.”

“I love Hawaii.”

“You love having sex.”

“Maybe.”

“But you can’t keep flying twenty-six hundred miles to get laid. It’s absurd and fiscally irresponsible.”

“Not if it’s a great lay,” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.

Anne leans across the table, a thick wave of blond hair falling in her eyes. “Jack, be serious. This is serious. You can’t keep doing this, can’t keep running over there anytime you feel lonely. You’re supposed to date here, make friends here. This is where you live. This is where you need to settle down.”

“I’m settled—”

“You’re not. You don’t even look at men here, and you’re on the phone with Mr. Hawaii all the time. It’s not right—”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not real, and it’s not good for you.”

“I’m happy.”

“Cocaine can make you happy, but that doesn’t mean its good for you.”