“Liss?” Hannah’s voice is soft. “Can you call me? I need to speak.”

The alarm in her head sounds louder, more shrill. She rolls herself a cigarette, goes to the kitchen door, and calls Hannah back.

“Hey.” Hannah answers after the first ring. “What are you doing?”

“Just getting ready. It’s my tech tomorrow.”

“Oh shit. Of course.” There’s a catch in Hannah’s voice. “Can you come over? There’s something I need to ask you.”

Fuck.

“Sure.” Lissa tries to keep her voice steady. “Now?”

“Please. And Lissa? Maybe—will you bring a bottle of wine?”

She pulls on her parka and makes her way towards Broadway Market, stopping to buy wine and chocolate at the Turkish liquor store on the way.

Hannah buzzes her in through the metal door and Lissa climbs the old external staircase, to where her friend is waiting at the top. Hannah looks pale, slight in the dusk, infused with a restless, spiky energy. “Did you bring wine?”

Lissa holds it up. “Rioja.” She tries a smile. “Old times’ sake.”

Hannah takes it from her, goes inside, to the kitchen counter, opens the wine, pours two glasses and hands one to Lissa. “Cheers,” she says grimly.

“Cheers,” says Lissa, taking her wine, keeping her coat on.

“Are you cold?” says Hannah.

“No—I can’t really stay. I’ve got to get up early. We’ve got tech.”

“Lissa. Please. I need to talk.”

She takes off her coat, which Hannah hangs behind the door. Outside, dusk is settling over the park, over the lights of the city beyond. A vase of flowers stands on the table. Small lamps are lit. It is the flat of an adult, and yet sitting before her, on the blue sofa, with her legs folded beneath her, her hair tucked behind her ears, Hannah looks like a lost child.

“What’s happening, Han? Where’s Nath?”

“Working, I guess. I don’t know. We had a fight.”

“What about?”

“He doesn’t want to do another cycle. The IVF. He said no. I thought he would change his mind. But he didn’t. And now he says he wants a break.”

“From what?”

She can feel the way her breath moves, in and out, shallow and high.

“From everything.”

“What does he mean by that?”

“I don’t know. I went back to Manchester for a few days. I thought things would be different, but we’ve hardly spoken since I’ve been back.”

“Maybe he’s right. Maybe you need a break from it all for a bit. Don’t they say that? That it’s often when you give up that it actually works?”