Wow. She is really trying, inviting me to Thanksgiving dinner with her girlfriend who hates me. She must have had to beg Beth to agree to that. I enjoy imagining how guilty she feels and how desperately she wants me to forgive her. I get high thinking about withholding the apology she so desperately craves. I think that is my Venus in Virgo.

Truth be told, I hadn’t given one thought to Thanksgiving. My son used to always come home, but I can’t count on it anymore. When I was with Tara, we would have him over there and give him the guest room. But two adults in a studio apartment is rough. Sometimes he will come up for just the day, often with a friend. He has one friend I like named Jax. He smokes cigarettes and drinks Cook’s with me and loves 48 Hours and Lifetime movies. He’s a Leo too, and sometimes we look at Exalted memes together. The first time I met Jax, I went to the bathroom and overheard him say to Bo, “Your mom is so cool!” I listened carefully for Bo’s reaction but heard nothing.

For a while I thought Jax and my son might be lovers, but Bo insisted they are just best friends. That relieved me. The last thing I want is a gay son. Life is hard enough.

I think about texting him, but I want him to text me first. I don’t want to be a needy mom. When he was little, he worshipped me. He thought I was the coolest person on the planet. As he got older, he seemed to find me embarrassing. I guess I can’t blame him. I’m not exactly mom of the year. I decide to send him a casual text.

Any Thanksgiving plans?

I wait for a response, and when none comes, I go back to looking at dogs on Petfinder and think about where and how I’ll find this partner with integrity. I hope Exalted responds to my email.

Bo calls me the day before Thanksgiving as I’m walking to 7-Eleven for more cigarettes.

“Hi, Mom,” he says.

“Hi, baby,” I say.

“So I have some bad news,” he says.

My heart jumps, and I worry that he’s going to tell me he’s moving to New York, my biggest fear. Los Angeles is already too far away.

“I was going to visit you for Thanksgiving,” he says, “but Jax is in the hospital with appendicitis, so I have to take care of him.”