“What’s the black forest like?” I ask the cashier, who by this point I know is named Rosy, which I remember because she has rosacea.

I am starting to feel at home at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.

“It’s like chocolate-cherry flavored,” she said.

“Do you like it?”

“I like it okay,” she says. “It’s not my favorite, but they are all good.”

“Well, I’ve tried all the others,” I say. “I think I need to try it.”

“Do it, Dawn,” she says.

I smile.

“Whip?” she asks.

“You know it, Rosy,” I say.

I pay and then walk over to where they serve the drinks. On the way, something catches my eye. It’s that weird limp again. I freeze. Paul. He is walking toward the door. I instinctively follow, but by the time I start walking he is already out the door.

“Fuck,” I say under my breath.

“Everything okay, Dawn?” Rosy calls over from the cashier station.

I sigh. “Yeah.”

Rosy is already helping another customer.

As I walk back over to retrieve my drink, something on the ground catches my eye. It’s a driver’s license. I lean over to pick it up.

EMILY.

I can’t decide whether to wear my juicy tracksuit, cheap black shift dress, or a designer dress I stole from Thomas. I text Cinnamon and eat a few slices of turkey as I wait for her response. I am a little groggy because I stayed up late watching movies to talk to my dad about. First Solstice, then Parasite. I hadn’t intended to watch both of them in the same night, but when Solstice ended, I wanted more. I’d forgotten the feeling of getting sucked into someone else’s fantastical vision with a cat curled on my belly. So I turned on Parasite, and I enjoyed that one too. I almost watched Knife in the Water, but it was 2:00 A.M. and I wanted to get a few hours of sleep.

Wear the black shift, Cinnamon writes back. Or the juicy. Nothing designer. Keep it cool.

On the walk to Subtropical, I try to remember the last time I’ve had a “friend.” Rachel doesn’t count; she is my cousin. I did drugs with people in my early twenties, so I must have had friends, but I can’t remember anyone specific. I tended to go out with people from the bar, and they all blended together.