I spend the next few days finishing the last of my readings. I am about done with my requests from the recent deluge and there are no more coming in, which means I need to make a new meme. The mere thought—I need to make a new mememakes me briefly contemplate suicide.

I suppose the MDMA has left my system.

A new DM shows up in my inbox and I hope it’s a request for a reading. But it’s just Jess, the New York City Libran. Chaz broke up with me. :(

Quelle surprise! His name is fucking Chaz. And he’s a Scorpio! A Scorpio cannot date a Libra. I cannot even begin to come up with a response to this message. She should be leaning on Thomas for support, not me. He would probably say something horribly cliché like, “You’re better off without him!” I’ll leave that to the resident Sagittarius.

But her message reminds me of the reason I am not currently worried about rent: the famous Libra model Stella Shadid. I decide to make another meme that she will surely repost. Everyone is self-obsessed, but no one is as self-obsessed as a Libra model with a genetically superior older sister (her older sister, Mimi, hasn’t gotten any plastic surgery).

I google images of Stella Shadid and start brainstorming. I find a GIF of her interacting with her ex, an R&B star, while walking down the runway at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I’ve seen this GIF before, and I remember being impressed. The R&B star is at the top of the runway, singing effusively at her. And Stella just calmly walks past him, acknowledging him for hardly a split second, blasé and restrained. It is exactly how every woman dreams of an encounter with an ex. Well, I’ve never had an ex, but if I had one this is exactly how I’d want to look running into him. Hot and polite, but impervious.

So I post the GIF with a simple caption: “A Libra running into her ex.” It is way too generous to Librans, but I need money, which means I need Stella’s followers.

As it uploads, I eat two saltines very slowly. Lydia stares at me. I glare at her and post the meme to my story as well, tagging Stella. This will make it easier for her to repost.

I receive another DM from Jessica almost immediately. First, three streaming tear face emojis. Then, I hope I can be this chill when I run into Chaz. I wonder if she thinks I made the meme for her, which is fine if so and makes me feel better about not responding.

That evening I’m in bed watching Repulsion when Stella reposts my story. My notifications begin to blow up. I imagine each one as a hundred-dollar bill floating through cyberspace.