Chapters (53)
- Praise for Early Riser
- PENGUIN BOOKS
- Also by Jasper Fforde
- Dedication
- Mrs Tiffen could play the bouzouki
- Fat Thursday
- Jack Logan
- Testing time
- Cardiff nights
- Oliver Tiffen goes hot
- Merthyr
- Meet Aurora
- The John Edward Jones
- Over the hump
- Talgarth and HiberTech
- The Wincarnis
- Consulate and Fodder
- Marooned
- The Sarah Siddons
- Room 901
- Trip to the Gower
- Dream, wake, repeat
- Jonesy
- Starving in the basement
- The Wincarnis
- The Consulate
- Toccata
- HiberTech
- Fodder
- The Museum
- Villains
- Truce busted
- Something rotten in the winter
- Dream again
- Dawn and the dead
- A remote farm in Lincolnshire
- Jonesy
- The Farnesworths
- Dreamspace
- Fired & filing
- Charlie Webster
- Thumped
- H4S radar
- The Geraldus Cambrensis
- The cylinder
- Night in the museum
- Night in the museum 2
- White-out
- Orientation
- Dreamspace
- The Awakening
- Acknowledgements
- What’s next onyour reading list?
I roused Mrs Tiffen from her Torporific state with a lump of marzipan under her nose, fed her two slices of Fruity Malt Loaf and a Walker’s Shortbread Finger, then guided her out the carriage door. The air was sharper than in Cardiff; our feet trod the snow with more of a squeak than a crunch. It was by now quite dark, and the town was illuminated not by electric light, but gas: the flickering orange light from the lamp-heads added a sense of ethereal gloom to the town, as though it were caught in a time warp.
The signboard on the platform announced the station as Talgarth, the small town that played host to the HiberTech complex. I told the stationmaster I was dropping my charge and would be returning on the same train, and she replied that I had at least two hours, so plenty of time.
While Moody supervised the unloading, I took Mrs Tiffen towards the station exit, where Aurora had already been met by a man who was tall, thin, and had a complexion like that of a freshly oiled rugby ball. I was put in mind of an ancient corpse that had been preserved in a peat bog.
‘Deputy Worthing,’ said Aurora as Mrs Tiffen and I approached, ‘allow me to introduce the Deputy Head of HiberTech Security, Agent Lionel Hooke. He looks after stuff when I’m not around. Highly trustworthy. Was a captain in the army until he joined us.’
‘You were . . . Captain Hooke?’
‘Yes,’ he said, one eyelid twitching, ‘and if you make any comments about crocodiles, alarm clocks or missing a hand, I will pluck out one of your eyeballs and make you swallow it.’
‘I was thinking of no such thing,’ I replied somewhat untruthfully, as every single one of those things had gone through my head.
‘Hooke was joking about the eyeball,’ said Aurora, before turning to the Deputy Head and asking in a more quizzical tone: ‘You were joking?’
‘Of course,’ said Hooke after a pause, ‘my little absurdity. To break the ice, you understand.’
And he gave me a smile that looked as though it had come from a hastily-read handbook on cultivating personal charm. Even more worrying, he moved in to give me a Winter embrace. He smelled of chewing tobacco, battery acid and recently dead horse. He also took the opportunity to whisper in my ear.
‘Step out of line and I’ll destroy you.’
‘Good to meet you, too,’ I stammered, realising that the introduction was simply so he knew who I was, not the other way round.
‘Want a lift?’ asked Aurora. I said I needed the exercise, so she wished me well, then departed with Agent Hooke in a four-wheel-drive command car that looked as though it was the unfortunate union of a truck and a family saloon.
* * *