She sat in her chair and stared up at me with her good eye, while the other contorted in its socket.

‘You’re done. We’re done. Go.’

I walked to the door, the heady buzz of comradeship I’d felt so strongly that morning now cracked and forlorn.

But I had an idea, and turned back.

‘You’re still here,’ she said, not looking up from her desk.

‘I think you should know,’ I said, ‘I was offered a job at HiberTech this morning.’

She slowly looked up at me and a red flush spread rapidly across her neck and cheeks. Any last vestige of friendliness she might have had seemed to vanish.

‘You wonky-faced piece of crap. You’re kidding me, right?’

‘No,’ I said, as innocently as I could. ‘Two-year contract, cash signing bonus, free puddings, apartment facing the quad – and a Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut allocation.’

‘I don’t know why they want you there, but it’s not for your charm, looks or experience. They’ll use you, spit you out spent. Working for HiberTech would be the worst career move you’ll ever make – and the last.’

‘You’re right,’ I replied, somewhat daringly, ‘I don’t want to work there. I want to stay in Sector Twelve, but if that’s the only option open to me, I’ll take it.’

Toccata put her pen down, leaned back in her chair and stared at me.

‘Well, I’ll be,’ she said, ‘you just played me. No one has ever dared play me.’ She looked almost impressed. ‘Okay, have it your own way: you’ve got a job. Filing duties for the next ninety-one days, inside the Consulate – and demoted from Deputy to Novice. There’ll be latrine duty in it somewhere, and you can do everyone’s washing and ironing. Pretty soon you’ll beg to go and work for Dowager Farnesworth. Okay, now piss off. Hang on, wait, one more thing.’

She got up, walked around the desk and punched me in the eye.

‘That’s for lying earlier.’

I got to my feet and she punched me a second time in the same place.

‘And that’s for bundling this morning with Aurora when you said you wouldn’t.’

I left the office, head spinning, but at least clear on two points: firstly, that I was getting better at dealing with the Winter, and secondly, that the tongue-coming-out warning had indeed been an empty threat.

‘How did that go?’ asked Jonesy when she found me holding a cold compress to my eye in the washrooms.

‘I was told to leave, said I didn’t want to, was fired, reinstated then demoted to Novice. But I played her so I think she now respects me.’

‘Is that why she punched you in the eye?’

‘No, that was for lying and bundling with Aurora.’

‘That’s true, then?’

‘No.’