He looked to me for help, but I shrugged. I knew who he meant, but I didn’t understand why he didn’t feel it: the fact that I didn’t want him there.

Autumn laughed. “No, I’m an Ohio kid through and through. Actually, we only just met.” She touched my shoulder and I flinched—not because it hurt, or because I didn’t like it, but for the exact opposite of those things. I made a subtle move back toward her hand, but she pulled away, an apology on her face. “I don’t mean . . . I have this bad habit of touching people. All my friends are used to it, or don’t mind telling me to screw off. I’m sorry.”

“No,” I said too quickly. “Don’t be. It’s . . . okay.”

And there was a long pause there.

A beat where it was just her and me in this dark alley and it was a world where my parents were still at the forefront of my brain, where their death was at once tender and searing, but it was like her eyes were time travelers.

And she’d been sent here to give me a glimpse of future Jamal.

A Jamal who was still hurting but who’d found a way to not be so broken.

“Damn, man, I haven’t seen you smile since . . .” Q’s words split. His voice softer. “I’m just saying it’s good to see you smile.”

“That’s weird because I was actually just shoving both of my feet into my mouth before you came out.” Autumn turned to me. “You don’t know me and this means shit even if you did, but I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. And I’m sorry for being here when you were trying to find a place to be alone.”

I shook my head.

“He’s been alone a lot lately. I imagine he’s happy to have some company,” Q says before I can get any words out. “I was actually gonna ask J if he wanted to, later tonight after the dinner thing, just hang out and just, I don’t know, reminisce or . . . anyway, you’re welcome to join us, right, J? She should join us?”

Autumn was smiling, which was a good thing. A great thing. But I didn’t want to hang out or talk or reminisce about how awesome my parents were. Especially not with him.

“Actually, if you don’t mind, man, could you go find Whit, let her know I’m out here if she needs me.”

“Huh. Oh. Yeah, man. Uh . . .” He nodded—and it was there, the perfect friendship cocktail, a finely shaken blend of reluctance, jealousy, and earnestness. “It was nice meeting you, Autumn. Hope to see you later.”

A reluctance to leave me in my time of need.