I allow myself a second of genuine pride and happiness before the guilt kicks in. Yes, it’s great news. Yes, it’ll change Tabby’s life. And yes, I’ve taken this role for all the right reasons. But my parents are looking at me like I’m their golden girl, and it’s the way they’ve always looked at me, and I don’t deserve it.

I fell for my professor and for all the silken lies he poured into my ear, and I got myself knocked up, and I had to take a year out, and since then, my parents have made sacrifice after sacrifice for me and Tabs. And now I’m selling my body and agreeing to be the fuck toy of some rich, entitled guy, and it makes me feel so dirty and grimy and sullied and ugh. Just ugh. So yeah, it’s shitty to sit here and feel the light of their pride shining on me when it would one hundred per cent kill them to know what I really have planned for my summer.

It would finish them off, truly.

A swift gulp of water has me pushing on. ‘The other news is even better, guys.’ Here goes. The lie won’t hurt them, because the news is so wonderful. I twist my body so I’m facing Tabby and wrap an arm tightly around her. In this position, we’re exactly at eye level. ‘We’ve been awarded a grant, my love, and it means we can go to America, you and I, and get your heart fixed very safely by doctors who are the best in the world at what they do.’

Mum’s whimper is matched by Dad’s shocked inhale, but my gaze is fixed firmly on my daughter’s face, which seems to light up before my eyes.

‘America?’

‘Yep,’ I tell her with a smile that feels far too wobbly. ‘You and I are off to the States in a month or two.’

She gasps theatrically. ‘Can we go to Disneyland?’

That makes me laugh. ‘Not Disneyland this time, I’m afraid. We’re going to a very fancy hospital that has very good doctors and very clever machinery, and they’ll be able to replace your valve without even opening you up. They’ll make a tiny hole the size of a keyhole, and they’ll do it that way.’

‘No open-heart surgery?’ Dad asks, his voice cracking, and I tear my eyes away from Tabs.

‘Nope. No open-heart surgery. They can do it laparoscopically. They’re experts in this kind of procedure for kids.’

My parents are staring at me like I’ve pulled off nothing short of a miracle. If you remove the ethics from the situation, I suppose I have.

‘But how?’ Mum says. ‘How did you get it?’