‘You’re not Athena,’ he growls. ‘And you should not have to apologise for your limits because they’re different from other people’s.’

‘Okay. But what I mean is… it wasn’t just the things you wanted to do at that lunch that bothered me. You blindsided me on purpose. You were arrogant and callous and so dismissive, and you wanted to make me feel vulnerable and humiliated. It was very deliberate.’

‘I agree,’ he says, sounding like a broken man. ‘It was deliberate. And I told myself it was about showing off my trophy EA to my mates, but it wasn’t even about that.’ His eyes flicker downwards, away from me, and he mumbles, ‘It was about showing you who’s boss.’

There it is.

The truth.

He didn’t like his reactions to me, his feelings about me, so he decided to pull rank in the nastiest way possible.

I’m not convinced this is remotely the right time to have this conversation, nor do I have the energy for it. But I may as well build on the momentum we’ve made here and advocate for myself. If this long, lonely week has reminded me of anything, it’s that I owe it to Tabs and myself to advocate for the both of us with every scrap of agency I have.

‘I’d like some assurances that you won’t pull a stunt like that again when we go back to London,’ I say stiffly, and his eyes fly to mine in shock.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, if it’s okay with you, that we should sit down together and redraw the rules. I’m really not comfortable in group sexual situations, so I’d rather not do any of those anymore, and if you’re in a bad mood then I’d rather you didn’t take it out me.’ My voice quivers, but I forge on. ‘I think on days like that, we should set firm⁠—’

His protest is explosive. ‘Jesus Christ, Marlowe!’

‘What?’ I ask, taken aback by the abject horror on his face.

He gazes at me through his tears, his expression pleading. ‘You honestly think I’d let you take a penny for sex from now on in? No way. I’m never laying a hand on you in that office again. We’re done with the Seraph thing.’

CHAPTER 48

Brendan

Her face crumples, and my first thought is oh Jesus, I’ve made her cry again. But this is important.