This woman is gorgeous, and she’s literally bent over double so you can take her up the arse, so what the fuck are you waiting for, you wanker?

Ivy cranes her neck to see me. She, presumably, has the same question for me. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah,’ I lie. ‘Just… warming him up.’

She frowns, then straightens up and looks down at the notable lack of bulge in my trousers.

‘Oh, mate. That’s not good.’

‘It’s fine.’ I rub it so hard that my boxer briefs chafe against my poor dick. ‘I just need a minute.’

She bites her lip. ‘You want to get it out for me? I can have a go.’

I flinch. I actually flinch, and my feet take a step backwards of their own accord. ‘No!’ I say. I think I may snap it, which is neither cool nor intentional.

She raises her eyebrows. ‘Okay, okay. Look, you’re obviously not feeling it. No bother. I’ll just go and find someone who can rail me nice and hard.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ I tell her lamely, watching her cut through the crowd. I have never had to apologise for any lack of sexual prowess before, and here I am, falling at the first hurdle. It seems my dick did not get the memo that we are here to have a good time tonight. It seems my entire body is repulsed by the fact that this beautiful, willing woman is Not Marlowe.

And nothing about that is okay with me.

I look around in a panic to see if anyone is watching, if anyone is laughing at the guy who’s all talk and no trousers. But they’re not.

No one is paying me any attention whatsoever. I duck my head and make a beeline for the doors.

I can never show my face in here again.

That’s for sure.

CHAPTER 41

Brendan

The Bach accompaniment to Gounod’s version of Ave Maria is pretty straightforward, actually. I’ve steered away from classical music as long as I’ve played the piano, but I downloaded the sheet music for this after hearing Marlowe sing it here a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve been practising it ever since. The melody is flowing and arpeggiated and creates a serene foundation for the soaring vocals.

When I was first learning it, it made me feel happy. Connected to Marlowe.

Now it just makes me feel sad. And, honestly, it’s not as enjoyable without her here to sing along.