‘Not that it’s about you, but yes,’ I say, embarrassed.

‘Jesus Christ.’ He groans and rubs his free hand over his face. ‘Sorry, love. Go on.’

‘There’s not much to tell, really. It went on for about four or five months—all very secretive. I was head over heels, and he seemed really taken with me.’

‘Of course he was,’ Brendan grumbles. ‘Some crusty old academic, festering away with all his turgid music, and then eighteen-year-old you comes along and blows him away. Of course he was fucking “taken with you”.’

I nudge his arm with my shoulder. ‘Thanks.’ Even years after the death of the relationship, a little posthumous validation is always nice.

‘So he fucked you in private, led you on, knocked you up, and…’ Brendan prompts.

‘… And when I told him I was pregnant, he just shut the whole thing down. Made me feel stupid. Made me feel like it was my fault for having false expectations and getting knocked up.’

‘Good job he wasn’t a biology professor. Stupid cunt.’

I grin. ‘Yeah. He really, really was a stupid cunt.’

‘So he buggered off and left you to it?’

‘Quite literally, yes. He told me to get an abortion, froze me out, and then moved his family to a different city that summer—he got himself a new tenure. And that’s it.’ I shrug. ‘I took a year out to have Tabs. I didn’t put his name on the birth certificate. He’s dead to me, basically.’

‘Good. And where does he live?’ Brendan growls in a way that makes him sound like a mob boss. I fear for Joe’s kneecaps too much to divulge that he, in fact, is still lecturing at Nottingham University, so I shrug. ‘Dunno. Don’t care.’

‘Good girl.’ He looks down and brushes his thumb over the back of my hand. ‘So you’re telling me you’ve done all this on your own.’

‘I have Athena, obviously. And my parents are amazing. Just incredible. They sold their home in Kent after I finished uni and bought a crappy flat near me so they could help me bring up Tabs.’

‘I’m glad you have them. But still. This is a lot, love. It would be a lot for any parents, let alone someone without a partner.’

The word hits me harder than usual. Partner. Buddy. Support System. Person. Yeah, it would be really nice to have gone through all this having someone in my corner. I make a non-committal noise, and he squeezes my hand again.

‘Come on. Let’s get you back to your little patient.’

CHAPTER 50

Marlowe

I’ve been away from the hospital for three hours, which is a long time to be away from Tabs but a very short amount of time for Athena to have pulled off an epic room switch.