‘We’ve done this before. Remember what an old hand you are at this. It’s horrible and scary, but you’ll get some oxygen soon, and until then I know your tricks will help you. Are you hugging your knees?’

She whimpers, and I take it as an affirmation.

‘Good girl. Breathe nice and slowly. As slowly as you can. Nice deep breaths. It’ll all be over soon. Once you have this operation, these scary trips will be a thing of the past, okay? Remember that, my love. Remember what a strong, brave girl you are. I love you so, so much, and I’m going to be there as soon as I can, okay?’

‘Okay,’ she manages, sounding as wheezy as a mini Darth Vader.

‘I love you. Bye.’ My voice fails me on that last word. As I go to end the call, I can barely see the red button through my tears.

When I dare to look up, Elaine is still staring at me. I put my phone on the vanity and wipe both hands under my eyes.

‘I’d ask you if everything’s okay, but it’s clearly not,’ she says, and then she’s closing in and wrapping me up in a huge hug. Even as she squeezes me, I hold back. If I let myself collapse on her, I’m not sure I’ll be able to pull myself back together enough to get myself to Denmark Hill Hospital.

‘Your daughter?’ she asks, pulling away enough to scrutinise me.

‘Yeah. Brendan doesn’t know about her,’ I add hastily, and she nods sagely.

‘There are a lot of things in this job that Brendan doesn’t need to know about, bless him. Is she in hospital?’

‘She’s in A&E with my parents. She has a congenital heart defect and she ends up there quite often,’ I tell Elaine as I grab a couple of tissues from a box beside the washbasin. I blow my nose noisily.

‘Oh my dear. I’m so sorry. That’s just tragic. How old is she?’

‘She’s eight.’

‘Well, you should go be with her then.’

My face crumples again. I can feel the panic welling up. ‘I want to, but I told her that when I took this job I might not always be able to make it to the hospital.’ I take a look at Elaine’s face, contorted with sympathy. She’s a mother and a lovely person, as straight as they come. There’s no need for politics or game-playing with her. I know I can trust her.

‘It’s only for a few more days,’ I tell her. ‘We’re going to the US to get her operated on privately. She needs a new pulmonary valve.’ I hesitate. ‘That’s why I told Brendan I had jury duty next week.’