‘It’s no bother. We have a bicycle expert on hand. He can replace the chain or whatever needs doing. It’s all part of the service we offer to residents and their guests, ma’am,’ he adds. He can probably see my how much will this cost Brendan frown.

I brighten. ‘In that case, yes please. That would be amazing!’

‘Very good, ma’am. This way, please.’

I follow this new fairy godfather of crapped-out bikes through the glass doors and into a cavernous lobby: ultra-modern; gleaming white marble; ostentatious displays of flowers everywhere in vases that stand taller than Tabby. You get the picture. I mentally compare it to the concrete urine-scented box that is the lobby of my building, complete with its resident gangs, and shudder. Brendan wouldn’t last five minutes in my building if this is what he’s used to.

Then again, if you have the money, why not? Athena told me that Brendan is deeply unsure about his family’s pledge of most of its billions to the Audacity Foundation. My personal take is that losing his billionaire status would mean a serious identity crisis for him—even if they’ll still be revoltingly rich by most people’s standards. So he’s spending money like it’s going out of fashion.

Exhibit one—the catamaran he’s ordered, the admin around which Elaine is having to deal with.

The doorman deposits me in a vast glass lift and swipes his security card before pressing the button marked PH. Penthouse, I assume.

‘Enjoy your morning, ma’am.’

‘Thank you.’ I swivel as the lift starts to rise. This building can only be ten or so storeys tall, but the glass walls still offer me a stunning view of the Thames, blue and hazy on this stunning morning. Before I know it, the lift is sliding smoothly to a halt and the doors part for me.

Oh holy crap.

This place is outrageous.

The space before me is so big it must surely take up this entire floor. It’s vast. There are huge floor-to-ceiling windows on both sides. In front of me: a massive terrace facing the Thames. To my left: the majesty of the restored power station, now a major shopping destination. It must look so cool when the entire thing is lit up at night.

It’s simply incredible.

And sure, I could imagine Kim or Khloe hanging out here—something about all the neutral tones and that cream and coffee chequered Hermès blanket laid across the arm of the massive sofa—but honestly, it’s like something out of a dream.