‘Agreed. No offence, but a single mum wouldn’t be top of their list for an easy-fuck assistant. We could get away without disclosing that on any of your materials. Right, the best way to do this would be to set up a prospective employer before you even go in to interview with Camille. That way, it saves you from unnecessary photos and things.’

I freeze. ‘What photos?’

‘Everyone on their books has a portfolio.’ I can tell by her delivery that she’s choosing her words carefully. ‘There are photos that the guys can look at before they ask you to interview. Facial portraits, full body, clothed and unclothed. They do a seated open-legged one as standard so the guys can see what they’re getting.’

I can’t help it. My face floods with heat. Oh my fucking God, this is horrific. I’m sure my horror is written all over my face, but I can’t openly freak out at the first hurdle. If the prospect of being photographed nude is too much for me, I’ll never make it in this job. That said, the last guy I trusted enough to see me naked for any extended period was Joe—the man who promised me the world but disappeared when I needed him most.

Athena, of course, doesn’t miss a thing. ‘Oh, Jesus,’ she groans. ‘This is a total non-starter, honestly.’

‘No, go on. Please. I promise you I can handle it.’

She sighs heavily. ‘I hate to say this, because Camille is a friend and I’d hate to shaft her, but in theory we could get you employed for just a few months and then you can quit once Tabby’s had her op and you’ve put some money aside for private follow-up care. Once someone interviews you and wants to take things forward to the audition stage, he has to fork out twenty-five grand before he fucks you. Then you get around a hundred grand sign-on bonus.’

A hundred grand.

A hundred grand.

Don’t focus on the word audition.

Don’t think for a second about what that might entail.

Getting yourself worked up is unhelpful right now.

Just focus on the operation.

On what it costs and what you need to earn before you run for the hills.

‘Okay,’ I say shakily. ‘That sounds good.’

‘Nothing about this is good. The key is to find you someone who’s horny enough to fork out for a Seraph EA but decent enough to treat you with respect. Let me see, let me see. Fuck.’

She whirls around, wineglass in hand, her mouth open and her expression triumphant. ‘I think I’ve got someone.’

‘Who?’ I ask with trepidation, because if she has a man in mind, that means that this outrageous plan is gathering mass and may actually become something real as opposed to a crazy scheme hatched from the mind of a desperate mother.

‘Remember Gabe’s brother Brendan?’