Our flat is in a sprawling estate which is a mix of government-owned council flats and those which have been sold to private owners or landlords. Ours is one of the latter—we rent it from a rental company—but it looks and feels every bit as depressing as a council flat, and don’t get me started on the communal areas.

I punch in the code for the outside door and creep past a gang of youths in the concrete hallway. Even in the summer, it feels damp in here. They’re all in black hoodies, faces barely visible, the stench of weed thick in the air. They’re swearing loudly, and they’re intimidating as fuck. They’re blocking the mailboxes, and I quickly decide I won’t be checking my post today. I hate that my parents and Tabs have to make the journey through this area to get upstairs to my flat, and it’s a miracle that Athena ever braves this place at all.

Not that any gang would dare mess with Athena.

As I climb the stairs and leave the fog of weed behind me, the smell turns to piss. Yes, my neighbours piss in the stairwell from time to time. Can they be any more revolting? It’s such a world away from the huge flower arrangements and gorgeous windows and soaring architectural details of Brendan’s offices. This place is a roof over our heads and not much more.

I’m sweating and out of breath as I reach the fourth floor. There are lifts, but they’re often out of order and I use them as little as I can. I don’t like the idea of Tabby and I being trapped in a smelly metal box if some of our less salubrious neighbours decide to join us. It’s always a relief when I can lock the door of our little home behind us, because it means we’ve reached our sanctuary safely.

But here’s where my return gets more surreal. When I shut the door and drop my rucksack behind me, I’m met with a vignette of domestic bliss in this basic little shoebox, and it hits me like a blow to my stomach.

Tabs and my parents are sitting at the small kitchen table, dirty plates stacked neatly to one side and an array of playing cards between them. The evening sunlight streams through the kitchen windows, bathing the room and its occupants in a golden glow while also drawing attention to the urgent need for an updated paint job in this living area.