We rode through town in silence, people on the sidewalks stopping to stare as we passed. Moira reached across the back of the car and held my hand. Before all of this, we could barely stand each other. Now I had nobody else.

Patches of dirty snow clung to the edges of the roads, gathered in little piles along the shoulder. The day was cold and bleak, the kind that never seemed to warm up. More snow was forecast for later.

The procession finally turned in at the stone-and-glass community center, which was the only place with an auditorium large enough to accommodate all the mourners. The flags at the entrance had been lowered to half-staff. Rows of servicemen on either side of the road saluted Nate’s casket as we drove by.

Lieutenant Dyson helped Moira and me out of the SUV. He accompanied us up the walkway, the soaring evergreens and snow-encrusted Cascade Mountains towering in the distance. His limp was more pronounced than ever, his face gray with grief. For the first time, I realized he looked like an old man. I’d heard he’d announced his impending retirement shortly after Nate was killed. I wondered who would take his place now.

At the entrance to the community center, one of the police officers took over, leading us to our seats at the front. Moira and I sat, both of us numb with shock and grief.

“Hey, stranger,” I heard behind me.

I whirled around and stood. “Julia!”

She leaned her metal cane against the chair and hugged me; her body was thin and frail. Her dark hair was tied into a tight ponytail, freckles stark on her pale skin.

Julia’s lashes glittered with tears. “I’m so sorry,” she said.

“Thank you. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling… lucky. I must’ve been off my head to take so much. To be honest, I don’t really remember a lot from the last few weeks. Everything’s a little… murky.”

I studied her face. She didn’t seem suspicious in any way. “It’s understandable.”

The pastor began speaking, and Julia returned to her seat. The service sped by in a whirl of music and pallbearers and blurred tears. The mayor spoke, as did Lieutenant Dyson and a few others from the police department. Moira got up to speak, and then it was my turn.

I looked out across the sea of faces, surrounded but alone.

I fingered the heartbeat necklace Nate had bought for me, the metal cool against my sweaty fingers. Everybody was here. Nate’s brothers and sister. My colleagues from the hospital and friends I’d made in the last few years. Marjorie. Julia. Kia. Dr. Palmer. Josh’s nurse, Katie. I caught my breath, tears filling my eyes. I couldn’t seem to stop them anymore. I wanted desperately to throw myself into the casket with Nate.