It sat like a thorn in my throat, piercing my defenses and leaving a scar that would never heal.

A gentle knock came, and Jodie Finch, my family liaison officer, entered. Jodie was a doe-eyed young woman with a sober manner and shapeless beige clothes. Her mouse-brown hair was scraped into a tight bun, her thin lips pale and bloodless.

She’d been assigned immediately after Nate was killed, and had been a shadow stuck to my side ever since. Noting my tear-stained face, she wordlessly handed me a tissue, then moved the giant Santa-dressed teddy bear—a Christmas gift from Dr. Palmer—out of the way and sat down. Josh had woken only sporadically the last week. He didn’t realize Christmas had passed or that his father had died.

I wiped my tears and pulled myself to a sitting position on the couch the nurses had set up for me in Josh’s room. He’d been moved out of intensive care yesterday, a week after he’d collapsed. A week since my entire world had imploded.

“How are you today?” Jodie said, her voice soft and husky. Her voice was her best quality, warm but gentle. Soothing. Maybe I didn’t want her to leave. I couldn’t bear the thought of being alone.

I rubbed the skin between my eyebrows. “I’m okay.”

“And Josh?”

“He isn’t out of the woods yet, but the doctors are optimistic.” Every day Josh was getting a little bit stronger.

Last week after the immunotherapy, Josh’s temperature had spiked to 107°F and he’d collapsed, having seizure after seizure. He was diagnosed with cytokine release syndrome. He’d been on oxygen therapy and antihypotensive agents for low blood pressure, but so far the doctors had been able to avoid any antibiotics, which could negate the effect of immunotherapy.

“The funeral procession starts at one p.m.,” Jodie reminded me. As if I could forget.

I glanced at Josh to make sure he hadn’t woken and heard her. The last thing I wanted was to harm any chance he had of recovering by telling him about Nate’s death.

There would be time for that later.

“Can I get you anything?” Jodie asked gently. “A coffee? Or I can go to your house and get you something to wear.”

“No, I’ll do it,” I said quickly. I didn’t want her in my home. “I need to see my dog, anyway.”

Moira had been a complete rock, checking on Charlie every day, organizing Nate’s funeral, coordinating the funeral procession with the police department. By contrast, I had done nothing but sit by Josh’s side the last week, silently begging him not to leave me too.

Another knock came at the door, and Kia peeked in.

“Emma? Do you have a minute?”

“I’ll stay with Josh,” Jodie said.

I followed Kia down the corridor. “Julia was released yesterday,” she said. “She’s asking for you.”