“My ex now. We divorced. After Robbie… there wasn’t much to save, you know? But we stayed friends. He had a stroke a few months back. That’s why I’m here.” She looked at her hands. “We’re both proud of you. All the good you’ve done.”

Nate flushed. Good. A word he’d spent his life failing to live up to.

He rolled a toothpick between his fingers. “Mrs. Sadler, I’ve wanted to tell you something for a long time.” Nate took a deep breath. “Robbie was being bullied at school. The day he… I was angry because he’d ratted me out about a test me and some of the other guys had cheated on. They beat him up, and I didn’t stop them. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, honey, Robbie told me what happened. But you didn’t do anything.”

“That’s exactly it. I knew what they were going to do and I didn’t do anything.”

Mrs. Sadler nodded slowly. “And now you regret that?”

“I was a coward.” Shame burned in Nate’s stomach.

“The way I figure it, being able to feel regret is the strongest sign of a good person. People who regret nothing are either saints or stupid. Those people do destructive things without insight. And they cause irreparable damage to their families and friends.”

Mrs. Sadler reached for his free hand, cradled it in hers. Her fingers were bony and cold, the nails long, painted a garish pink. She stared at the dried crusts of blood and purple bruises on his fingernails. Nate pulled his hand away, suddenly embarrassed by the way he eased his pain.

“Sometimes we make decisions that might not be the smartest ones, but they teach us who we are and who we want to be. But don’t use regret as a stick to beat yourself. Use it as a tool for doing better.” She met his gaze. “No one action defines us—it’s the journey that determines if we’re a good person or not.”

Nate saw nothing but compassion in her eyes. Forgiveness. Something cracked inside him then. Maybe he’d just needed to hear it out loud, to feel Robbie’s mother’s grace, before he could forgive himself.

“Thanks, Mrs. Sadler.”

“Of course.” She clapped her hands on her knees and stood to go. “Hey, how’s your wife? I saw her last night near the old Skamania Mill.”

“You saw Emma?” Nate tried to hide his surprise.

“Yeah. I recognized her from a picture Wade showed me. She was helping a guy who looked a little worse for wear. Were they all right?”

“Yes,” Nate said slowly.

Emma must’ve found Ben at the old mill warehouse. So why had she told Nate she found him in the Target parking lot?