I stripped his onesie off, then drew him a lukewarm bath. He was drowsy and I had to hold him up. I was beginning to feel less dizzy now that he didn’t smell like vomit anymore and it was kind of nice, being the only one awake with him in the quiet house. I looked at his funny little body in the water and thought about how a little more than a year ago he had been a part of Lonnie. How strange, at least in the middle of the night, that people come from other people.

After I put William back to bed, I took his soiled bedding and clothes down to the laundry room past the kitchen. I tried to see into the dim living room, wondering if Carlow had fallen asleep on the floor, but it was too dark.

Downstairs, the guest room door was open, the lamp on the nightstand switched on. When I got a few steps closer I also saw that it wasn’t just Carlow in the bedroom.

Lonnie had him pressed up against the wall. Actually, no, he had her pressed up against the wall—why do I remember it the other way around? She was pressed up against the wall and pressed up against him. He was bare chested but still wearing pants. She was wearing her robe, so I gathered what had happened. She went to bed with James, got up, and sneaked downstairs. The robe was slipping off her shoulder and he had his hand underneath it. All that soft silk and all that soft skin.

I realized they could see me at any moment, so I ducked to the side of the open door. I was close enough to hear their breathing. Why did they leave the door open? As soon as I had the thought, one of them pushed it closed. This must have just started—if I’d been a few moments earlier I might’ve met Lonnie on the stairs.

I was still holding the sour sheets from William’s crib. I’d tried to wad them up around the vomit, but I could feel a wet spot against my hand. I could still smell them.

I waited a long time outside the bedroom. Maybe I was waiting for sex noises as confirmation. There were never any squeaky bedsprings, but what I did hear, eventually, was a single muffled moan, like it was coming from behind his hand, or like she had sighed into his mouth.