It was Carlow we found in the hallway outside the kitchen, not James. All these people. All these extra people getting in the way. I had to get rid of him, had to get him alone for a moment. I pushed him down the hall and into the half bath under the stairs. He had to stoop against the sloped ceiling, putting his face very close to mine. I couldn’t see him in the pitch-black, but I could feel his breath.

Lonnie started knocking on the other side of the door as soon as I shut it. “Don’t leave me alone,” she said, into the gap between the door and the frame.

“I’m right here,” I said, pressing my face to where I’d heard her voice, and holding the knob so she couldn’t turn it.

“That book,” I said to Carlow. “You remember?”

“Did James give you something?”

He always sounded so amused. There was nothing funny in that little bathroom. I pulled the pocketknife out of the clutch Lonnie had loaned me, my left hand still holding the door shut.

When I didn’t respond to his question he said, “What book?”

“Laughter in the Dark?” I said. “The one you left at Lonnie’s house and came back to get the night I was working.”

He laughed. “What are you on?”

“I think you should leave,” I said, moving my foot against the doorframe to keep Lonnie out and opening up the blade of the pocketknife.

“Did James give you something?” I knew he wouldn’t take me seriously. I wanted to slash his mouth open from the corners downward, to peel that smirk off his face. I couldn’t see it, but I knew it was there. I had a vague blur of a plan coming together—luring Lonnie into a bedroom with her husband. I had something sordid to do and he was too light, too good.

“You’re going to ruin everything with your loyalty,” I told him. “You’re so faithful to her. We can’t have that. We can’t have that.”

A scratch, only a scratch. Not on his face but his stomach, the part closest to my hand. I couldn’t see it but I felt the rip of the blade. I knew dark red would start to seep onto his white button up, that he’d need to leave to avoid questions. Did I realize then that it would be the final nail in my own coffin? Was it worth it?

“What the fuck, Elle, that fucking hurt!”

“You’re part of our blood pact now,” I said, my voice unnaturally light, bouncing off the walls of that little room under the stairs. “How lovely.”

“It’s really bleeding! It’s all wet!” He sounded scared. “You fucking crazy bitch!”