Tristan squeezes my shoulder and gives me this knowing look. I should return the look. He’s kind, obeys all the rules, and is a great friend. But he deserves someone who is perfect, someone that isn’t me. He doesn’t need someone who secretly dreams of challenging the Highers one day, someone who is so … different. I’m not the person he thinks I am. I’m Kayla Juniper with no last name, no parents; the girl that can hear heartbeats and is never afraid, but can sense when others are.

A girl even vampires won’t touch.

Nina sweeps her honey-brown hair out of her eyes and starts chattering. But her voice is muffled as Monarch rushes into the cafeteria. He glances around frantically, searching for someone. At first I think it’s me, but his gaze skims over me and lands on Taggart. He waves Taggart over with urgency. Taggart is the Mortician of The Colony and I rise to my feet, thinking of Maci and wondering if she’s passed away.

I try to pick up on his fear vibe, but there’s too much distance between us.

When Monarch sees me standing, he shakes his head and motions me to sit back down. Tristan and Nina are looking at me like I’ve lost it.

I sink back down onto the bench. “Monarch’s talking to Taggart.”

“Is this about what happened in the hall,” Nina asks worriedly.

I shake my head. “No, I told you everything was fine with that.”

A pause.

“What happened in the hall?” Tristan asks, chewing his food.

“Nothing you want to know about. Trust me.”

And he doesn’t, not asking anymore questions.

We grow quiet, my thoughts drifting to Maci.  I’m almost certain she’s gone.  And in a moment Taggart and Monarch will take her lifeless body to the stoves, where she’ll join the sky in a cloud of smoke. Everyone will forget her, just they always do. Because no one likes a crier, no one likes the mourner. It distracts people from what’s important and makes them do irrational things.

At least that’s what the Highers say.

And the Highers are always right, even when they’re not.

Chapter 4

I hate death. Monarch has always tried to instill in me that death is just a part of life, and that I shouldn’t spend time thinking about it. It’s the one thing I can’t get past. I hate death and that’s that, especially when someone dies pointlessly.

Nina and Tristan are talking about their classes, when I abandon my tray and leave, moving quickly, so they don’t have a chance to ask questions.