He raises his head, reaching for a chair, and drags it beside him. “Sit down.” He pats the seat and I sit, laying my knife of my lap, just in case.

“You know how some call the vampires the living undead?”

“People call them that,” I say. “Because that’s what they are. The virus killed them, took away their pulse, their breath, yet they still walk.”

He drops his head in his hands. “Right, but they’re not the only ones walking around without a pulse.”

Does he know about me? “What’d you mean?”

He raises his head. “I’m talking about the things that are between human and vampire, ones that aren’t quite dead but aren’t quite alive.”

“I’ve never heard of anything like that,” I say, the silence of my own body almost maddening.

“That’s because they’re not that common.”

I shake my head. “I think they might be more common than you think.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Have you  seen one before?”

“No,” I say. “But I think I might be one.”

Chapter 30

I become painfully aware of what I am.  Ever since I’ve left The Colony, my heart has been as soundless as the vampires.

“You’re not one of them, at least not the ones I’m talking about.” He turns in his chair so he’s facing me. “All Bellators are kind of like them when they’re first thrown out. We’re technically dead when we wake up from The Gathering, just like the vampires. But eventually your heart starts beating again, after time.”

I think of Maci and how her heart was fully alive again, right before we left. “How long does it take for, you know, the heart to start beating again?”

“Yours will,” he assures me, like he knows it hasn’t. “Just give it sometime—some are just a little bit slower than others.”

That’s ironic, considering how fast I am. But I nod. “Why didn’t you just say this in the first place? I’ve been worried about it.”

He takes a deep breath, struggling for words. “There’s more to it than just the heart restarting. Once you start returning to your normal self, you lose things like your strength and speed, your fighting skills.”

Every part of my body feels like it’s sinking. “So I’ll become weak, and eventually I won’t be able to fight anymore.”

“You’ll be able to fight,” he mutters quietly. “You just won’t be as strong.”

“So I’ll lose my strength.” I stare at the ground, eyes wide. “I’ll lose everything.”