I step closer, and her throat bobs as she swallows. The air in the studio thins, charged with electricity that makes the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Energy crackles between us, like her body is a magnet responding to the proximity of mine.

“What do you want?” I ask, and although I can see conflict warring in her eyes, she doesn’t say anything for several moments.

Her eyes lock with mine, vulnerability and desire battling across her features. For a heartbeat, I think she might actually answer honestly—might say the words I’m desperate to hear.

“It’s just dinner,” she finally whispers, shaking her head. “That’s all.”

I take a step back as the breath I’ve been holding leaks out.

“Right,” I say, forcing a smile that I don’t feel. “Just dinner.”

18. Hannah

Chapter 18

Hannah

As I lift my eyeliner to my face to apply it, I stare at my reflection in the vanity mirror with a strange sense of disconnect.

I’m doing my makeup the old way, the way I know Aaron used to like it. But it’s not Aaron who’s on my mind at all. With a sigh, I lower the pen and stare at my reflection, almost like it’s going to start talking to me and tell me what to do or something.

How did I end up here again?

I don’t want to go to dinner with Aaron tonight—I refuse to call it a date—but I already told him I would, and I really don’t want to deal with the fallout with my mom if she finds out I canceled on him. Not that it’s ultimately up to her who I do or don’t date, but she clearly has a bias toward Aaron, and I don’t want to do anything that might upset her. Not ever, but especially not this close to the anniversary of Casey’s passing.

She was miserable when I met her and my father at their place for dinner a few nights ago, and I don’t blame her for feeling that way.

That day is always tough for all three of us, but there’s something about the ten-year mark that makes it feel impossibly heavier. I tried to cheer her up, but nothing at all got through to her—until I mentioned Aaron and she started asking if I was going to see him again soon. That’s a big reason why I said yes. I knew it would make her happy, even if for a little while, and I just wanted to give my mother a reason to smile.

I’d do almost anything to ease her pain, even if it means one awkward evening for me.