But gradually, even though I don’t want it to, the reality sinks in. She’s not going to change her mind about this, no matter what I say.

Not tonight. Maybe not ever.

Feeling drained and hollowed out, I finally pull back and push to my feet. My knees ache from kneeling for so long on the hard floor, but the physical discomfort is nothing compared to the emptiness that sits inside my chest, a cavernous space that makes it feel like I’m missing a part of myself.

She won’t meet my eyes, her gaze fixed on something in the middle distance, and I don’t trust my voice to speak without breaking completely.

I walk to the door as if I’m slogging through mud, each step requiring conscious effort. When I grip the doorknob, my hand feels disconnected from the rest of my body, as if I’m watching someone else go through these motions.

At the threshold, I pause, looking back at her small form on the couch. Ralph has returned to her side, pressing against her leg as if trying to comfort her. The sight sends a fresh wave of pain through me. How many nights have I spent here, with Hannah curled against me and Ralph purring on her lap? How could all of that just… end?

I want to say something—that I’ll wait for her, that I won’t give up on what we have, that this isn’t the end for us. But the words die in my throat, stuck behind a lump that makes it painful to swallow. I slip out the door, closing it quietly behind me, although the soft click of the latch hits my ears like a gunshot.

The night air feels intensely cold after the warmth of her apartment. I stand outside her apartment for a moment, feeling lost and disoriented, before mechanically making my way to my bike. Each breath feels like inhaling broken glass, and I shove my helmet on before revving the engine of my motorcycle and pulling away.

The ride to Sawyer’s house passes in a blur of streetlights and wind in my ears. I didn’t even consciously decide that he’s the person I need to talk to right now, but ever since I joined the Aces, he’s always been one of the guys on the team that I respect the most. Maybe it’s because he’s a father himself, but he’s got a way of breaking things down, supporting me, and lighting a fire under my ass when I need it that makes me look up to him a hell of a lot, especially considering I never had a great dad of my own.