My stomach twists, and I clear my throat, fiddling with a small loose thread on the hem of my shirtsleeve. My mother has always been my biggest cheerleader—she just shows it by trying to make sure I have security in my life, rather than encouraging me to pursue my passion.

She and my father have never understood why I’m so interested in yoga, and I stopped trying to explain it to them a long time ago. After what happened with Casey, my parents just want to make sure I’m set up well in life, and I’m grateful for that, even when their concern feels a bit suffocating.

I can’t fault her for loving me in the only way she knows how.

I just wish I could tell her that I’d much rather keep the yoga and ditch school, but I have a feeling she’d have a heart attack if I ever said that out loud.

“Seriously, Hannah,” my mother presses, reaching over to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “I’m worried about you. You look so tired. Are you getting enough sleep?”

“I’m fine,” I insist, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “Just busy, but I’m managing.”

Thankfully, she nods, accepting my reassurance.

Her concern has my brain spinning again though, and I wrinkle my nose as the din of the area surrounds us. I feel like I’m living a life full of lies. There’s this increasingly intense, secret life I have with Declan that’s glorious and absolutely perfect—but then there’s this fake life I’m living on the outside with everyone else. The dutiful daughter who’s going to be a world-class lawyer, if she could only get out of her own way.

Even thinking about all the studying I need to do exhausts me. I’m finally starting to admit to myself that I never really wanted to be a lawyer. I just decided to go to law school because it was what my parents wanted, and I wanted them to feel like they hadn’t lost everything when they lost Casey.

My life probably looks amazing to all the people who aren’t me, to people who aren’t living it, but it doesn’t fit me at all.

I still haven’t found the courage to say that out loud to anyone—except Declan. And I don’t know what that means.