“You’re doing great,” I encourage him, watching his reflection in the mirror.

I have to shake my head to chase off the image of myself on my hands and knees underneath him, his thick cock stretching me.

“Just remember to keep breathing,” I whisper, almost to myself as much as him. “It takes about six seconds on average for your muscles to adjust to a stretch.”

Declan smirks in the mirror—a knowing, heated expression that sends warmth pooling low in my belly. “That’s good to know.”

It’s nearly impossible to focus on anything other than him and all the thoughts racing through my head right now. I can’t tell if he’s intentionally trying to get me going or not, but either way, his low, rumbling comments aren’t helping.

I feel so torn, like the two sides of myself are literally pulling me apart at the seams. The wilder part of me, the part that gets drunk and sings her heart out in the backseat of an Uber, wants nothing more than to throw caution to the wind and say fuck it. I only get to live once, and just like Declan said, I don’t have to keep living it in a way that makes my parents happy just because my brother died. That’s not fair to me at all, and I’m sure it’s not what Casey would want for me either.

But the other part of me, the more rational and careful side, cringes just thinking about living like that—because it could cost me everything I have now. I’ve worked so hard to get to where I’m at in life right now, and while I might not love law school or living my life under the watchful gaze of my parents, I can’t shake the feeling I owe them that.

I’m sure they’ll love me no matter what I do, but I don’t think I could live with myself if I disappointed them. And there’s no way in hell my dad in particular would take the news of me messing around with one of his players as anything but a massive disappointment.

But I also can’t shake these intense and growing feelings I’m having toward Declan, so what am I supposed to do? Even if I told him I wanted to call everything off, I’d still have to keep seeing him for these lessons for as long as my father thinks Declan needs them, so nothing would change. And I know better than to think that these feelings would magically disappear, even if I did stop seeing Declan. Hell, I didn’t see him for six months, but I thought about him every single day until he dropped back into my life like he belonged there.

“Everything okay?” Declan asks as I guide him down into cobra pose.

“Yeah, why?”

“You got quiet again.”