I’m still having a hard time understanding what it is, but there’s something about him that just sort of makes me lose control of myself. He has this natural way of slipping past all my defenses, of knowing exactly what to say and how to test my limits and push me right up to the edge, physically and mentally. I’ve never felt as off-kilter as I do when I’m around him, and when he kisses me like he did a few nights ago, I feel totally unmoored, like the whole world is spinning away from me.

I’ve spent years trying to be exactly what everyone expects of me—the perfect daughter to compensate for my parents’ loss, the dedicated law student despite my waning interest, the right kind of girlfriend for a lawyer like Aaron. With Declan, I don’t have to be any of those things. I can just be me—the me I’ve kept hidden away, the me with desires and dreams that don’t fit the neat box I’ve tried to force myself into.

I can’t stop thinking about the way his lips felt—on my neck, on my body, on my clit. Those thoughts bring me right back to that night at Opal and Oak when we lay tangled up in each other’s arms for hours, talking and kissing and fucking until we lost all track of time. Memories of our night together flash through my mind as vividly as if they just happened today, overlaid on the rush I felt in every inch of my body when I kissed Declan at the table the other night.

I remember how he traced my hummingbird tattoo with his tongue all those months ago, how he seemed to understand instinctively why I’d gotten it—a reminder that something small and fragile could still be incredibly strong. No one else has ever seen me so clearly or understood me so completely with so little explanation.

Before I realize what I’m doing or can think to stop myself, my hand slides down my stomach to my pussy to find my swollen clit. Just my fingers brushing against it like this drags a gasp out of my mouth and makes my knees buckle a little. With this much desire already burning in me, there’s no way I’m going to get through this session with Declan without saying or doing something reckless unless I take some of the edge off. I’m never going to keep my mind focused on the lesson if I don’t.