HENRY comes running onto the stage.

Henry…

HENRY: Can’t sssstop.

ZAC: I need a fuck.

HENRY: [running on the spot] Take a ppppill.

ZAC: I should, shouldn’t I? I’m a bit nervous. You look a bit nervous yourself.

HENRY: I mentioned Macbeth and Roy tried to strangle me. He says I have to rrrrun around the theatre three times to get rid of the curse.

He runs off.

ZAC: [caught up in his own thoughts] And they want foreplay. [Calling out as in golf] Fore! [A beat.] Too nervous. Too excited. All I wanted was a fuck to calm me down. [He swallows a pill.] It’s not as if it’s the crown jewels or anything. Women are God’s punishment for men playing with themselves.

HENRY runs back across stage, ZAC pays no attention.

Wagner, do you hear me! I dedicate tonight to you! Fuck Mozart, not one ounce of tragedy in him. Music for elevators. Hmmmm, still too nervous. [Swallowing a few more pills] That should do the trick.

He goes off humming the ‘The Ride of the Valkyries’. JULIE and LEWIS enter.

LEWIS: It’s fairly easy, isn’t it? Ruth will help you with that large one during interval.

They stare at one another.

Nervous?

JULIE: A little. Not like giving a haircut.

There are sounds of the doors opening and the audience entering.

LEWIS: They’re opening the doors.

JULIE: A kiss. A kiss for good luck.

They kiss quickly. She laughs.

Break a leg!

HENRY runs on.

LEWIS: What is it, Henry?

HENRY: Cccccan’t stop. Ggggot to break a curse!

LEWIS: Henry, the audience is coming in!

RUTH: [running on stage] Lewis!

LEWIS: What is it?

RUTH: Zac’s on the floor in the dressing room. He’s comatose!

JULIE and LEWIS hurry offstage to ZAC. HENRY runs back on, a bit sweaty now.

HENRY: [to himself, remembering lines] Everyone blames women but I forgive them, if they change their love a thousand times a day, some call it sin, others a drug but I think it’s the necessity of women’s hearts.

He runs offstage.

RUTH: [entering] Henry! [To herself] Now, where did he go?

She hurries across the stage to look for him. HENRY returns on the third circuit of his run and slows down mesmerised by seeing the audience for the first time. RUTH comes back on.

Henry! We’re skipping the overture. Come on, you’re on!

They exit.

SCENE FOUR

The theatre. It is in the final scene of the opera. Ferrando and Guglielmo are in their Australian military uniforms. Fiordiligi and Dorabella are there and Despina is with Don Alfonso.

LEWIS:

We are safe and sound and have returned from the war our hearts full of joy.

ROY:

Wanting to embrace our sweethearts and thank them for their fidelity.

HENRY:

Good heavens! Guglielmo. Ferrando! Why are you back here?

LEWIS:

Recalled by royal command.

ROY:

Returned to our beautiful sweethearts [To JULIE] Why has the colour drained from your cheeks?

LEWIS:

[to RUTH] Why are you so upset?