NICK: I thought you’d think the same. I didn’t think you were so conservative.

LEWIS: [half to himself] Women’s constancy is like an Arabian Phoenix.

NICK: What are you on about—too much time with the loonies, Lewis.

LEWIS: I should hit you.

NICK: Women shouldn’t come between mates.

LEWIS: You’re not my mate.

NICK: It’s only sex.

LEWIS: Thanks a lot.

NICK: [looking at HENRY] Christ, medals too. [To LEWIS] You have become a right-wing nut, haven’t you? You belong here. [He starts to sing.] ‘They’re coming to take me away, ha, ha, to the funny farm—’

LEWIS: Don’t sing that.

NICK: Why? It is a funny farm. [Singing] ‘They’re coming to take me away, ha, ha!’

LEWIS: I said, don’t sing that song!

He punches NICK to the floor.

NICK: You stupid bastard.

LEWIS: I said, don’t sing that song.

NICK: That’s all you are, a paper tiger.

He jumps up to hit LEWIS, but HENRY jumps in between them and grabs NICK.

HENRY: [to LEWIS] Do you want me to beat him until he can’t stand up?

NICK: Let go!

HENRY: I can do it. I learnt it from the cops. I can do it without leaving bruises.

LEWIS: No, it’s all right. [To NICK] Nick off.

NICK: Tres droll.

HENRY lets him go.

You know why Lucy left you for me? She said you were a lousy fuck.

He goes.

CHERRY: [pleased] Is that true, Lewis?

LEWIS: [embarrassed] I don’t know—I mean, she didn’t tell me I was lousy—

CHERRY: I mean, is it true that your girlfriend has left you?

LEWIS: Yes.

CHERRY: [pleased by the news] Grouse. Double grouse.

She gives him a peck on the cheek.

I dedicate my performance to you.

She heads off, passing JULIE who is entering.

[Sotto voce, part threatening] He’s mine!

CHERRY exits.

JULIE: Henry, Roy wants to go through his lines with you.

HENRY nods and exits.

[To LEWIS] One minute he’s in a panic the next he’s an egomaniac. He says he wants a dressing room for himself.

LEWIS: We haven’t got one.

JULIE: That’s what I said.

RUTH enters.

RUTH: He asked for our help then rejected it. No wonder D ward wants him transferred. [She starts to map out her steps again.] One, two, three.

She silently says her lines as she blocks out her part.

LEWIS: [to JULIE] I forgot to show you how to move those flats for the change. Around the back.

They head off around the back. ZAC enters, still wearing the accordion.

ZAC: [to RUTH] Where’s Lewis?

RUTH: Don’t know. Damn. Mixed up my steps.

ZAC looks around noticing no one is on stage. He goes over to RUTH.

ZAC: I suppose a fuck is out of the question?

She slaps him across the face and stalks off.

A simple yes or no, would have been sufficient.

ROY: [offstage, angrily] Henry! Henry, you idiot!

ZAC: [to himself] Women. You have to wrap it all up in fancy language and then they swoon for you, when all it comes down to it, it’s the same thing.