CHERRY: What?

ROY: It’s all in Italian.

HENRY gets up to leave.

Henry!

But HENRY doesn’t stop this time. He goes.

DOUG: I’m with Henry.

He goes.

ROY: But it’s an easy language. Ask any Italian!

CHERRY: For once I agree with Doug.

She goes.

ROY: [in despair] No, no, no—

LEWIS: Perhaps we should do something a bit more simple. A one-act play or something. That Brecht, that’s simple—

ROY: This is my dream, Jerry. My dream. [Noticing JULIE and RUTH are still there] Aren’t you two rats going to desert the Titanic?

JULIE: I prefer this to the ward.

RUTH: What’s the name again?

ROY: [as if dealing with a simpleton] Così fan Tutte.

He disconsolately flips through his treasured possession, the piano reduction of Così fan Tutte.

LEWIS: [trying to cheer him up] Is that the music to it?

ROY nods.

You wouldn’t happen to have a record of it, would you?

ROY: It’s all in my head. Without this, the world wouldn’t be the same. It would break, like a voice in despair shattering glass. There is the harmony of the spheres and that harmony is Mozart’s music. Così fan Tutte. Without this opera having been composed, there would be just a clanging, banging, a bedlam all around us. The music of this opera keeps the world in harmony. [Swinging back to optimistic determination] I’ll win them over, Jerry! Trust me. Tomorrow come back and you’ll find we’ve missed the iceberg and are sailing in calm waters.

SCENE TWO

The theatre. Day. RUTH is singing to the simple, terminally slow playing of ZAC. She can hold a tune but is mechanical in performing and is nervous at the people watching her. She sings ‘Wild Thing’.

RUTH: Wild thing, you make my heart sing,

Wild thing you make everything groovy…

Everyone applauds at the end of the song. ROY is particularly enthusiastic.

ROY: That’s it. That’s the spirit.

He looks to LEWIS.

LEWIS: I was hoping for a song that showed a greater vocal range.

RUTH: It’s the only song I know all the way through. I’m not going to sing a song that is not word perfect. You don’t want me to make a fool of myself, do you?

ROY: A definite if not the definitive Dorabella, don’t you think, Jerry?

LEWIS gives a tiny nod of the head, unable to believe he has found himself caught up in this.

LEWIS: Who’s next?

ROY: Henry. Come on, Henry, you’re the lucky last.

HENRY is reluctant and doesn’t move from his seat.

Henry!

He drags HENRY from the chair.

Did your clients have to drag you up to defend them in court? [To ZAC] Play ‘When you Wish upon a Star’, everyone knows that.

Plainly, ZAC doesn’t. ROY is irritated.

‘When the Saints Go Marching In’.

ZAC plays a terminally slow version.

Henry, that’s your intro.

HENRY: Cccccccan’t ssssing.

He sits down. A long silence.

LEWIS: I don’t think this is going to work, Roy.

A shiver of doubt momentarily possesses ROY, but it passes.