I made a face and dropped the silly pose while she went to pull out some new underwear for me. "Zero percent, and you know it," I said. "Though don't tell the Queen that. I think she's still holding out hope that Dain and I will put blades through each other's hearts, as if that was ever a real option. It isn't trying to rid yourself of a god's rebuke if the gods send someone to murder him, after all."

"Do you really believe that's what he is?" she said, handing me my underwear.

"Kinda, yeah?" I replied, dressing. "Or, at least, I think the Queen believes it, and Dain definitely believes it, which is more important." I sighed, shook my head, and shrugged on an oversized t-shirt stolen from Earth. It had an illustration of a flying saucer picking up a cow, and boldly proclaimed "Take Me With You!". Wherever the fae had gotten these shirts must have been incredibly hipster. Portland, maybe.

"It's not like the Queen went out and found a great big wolf monster for a lover, anyway," I added after a minute. "She refused to sacrifice to Faerqan for a century, on the appointed day of the next sacrifice she walked out into the woods in a fugue and came back pregnant. Now she's barren and the crown prince is the scary, scary Beast of Phazikai." I shook my head again. "She obviously never wanted him as her heir, and he's taken it to heart."

"Of course he has," Kamharida said with a dismissive noise. "Anyone would. The one person in the world you should always be able to trust to love you is your mother." She paused in bundling up my revel clothing for cleaning, looking sad. "I pity him," she said, her voice sad. "I had kept well out of his way, with no interest in discovering why he was the way he was. But you took the hand of the monster and found out he wasn't so monstrous, after all, and I have watched you see it."

"He's a good man," I said, my throat going thick. "He deserves so much better than he was given. He..." I sighed, trying to pull myself away from the way tears were pricking the corners of my eyes, at the memory of him in the hedge maze. "He should have a chance to be happy," I said miserably.

"It's not your responsibility," she said, her voice gentle. "You don't owe him the gift of yourself, even if it would make him happy."

I dropped onto the bed again, putting my hands in my face. "He wouldn't even want me to do that," I said, tears starting to wet my palms.

My friend came and sat down next to me, rubbing my back with one hand. "You should sleep, Leah," she said. "You've had a long night, and sometimes things are so much better when we can see them with rested eyes."