He didn't speak and he didn't move from where he stood in the dry grass, trembling. He only looked at me, devastation written on his face.

Devastation he had caused, I thought with sorrow. All I had done was returned it to sender.

"Your choice, Dain," I said softly, and walked past him to my guards and the black stag, without looking back.

29. The Outside World

Chapter 29

The Outside World

I didn't leave my rooms for more than a week. I had a bargain to keep with Dain, but I couldn't bear to uphold my end of it, and sit next to him at banquets or attend a revel with him after seeing those revenge killings done in my name. I found out only afterwards that Dain hadn't attended, either, so I guessed that I hadn't broken my promise, after all.

I read trashy novels and I stared out my window at the forest, wearing its winter patchwork of bare branches and dark evergreen. Kamharida sat next to me sometimes, and told me stories about Nigeria and her sons, letting me escape from Faery for a little while. To give myself something good, I asked one of my guards how to go about getting things from the human world, and two days later had in my hands photographs of Kamharida's sons: playing soccer, standing in nice clothes with a man and woman who had to be their father and step-mother, holding up certificates of graduation.

They were handsome boys, dark and strong, with brilliant smiles and obvious personality in the way they dressed. When I gave the photos to her, she started weeping, silent tears falling out of her eyes as she stared at the beloved faces of her family.

I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her waist, leaning my head against her shoulder, feeling like crying myself. "You've done so much for me," I said, barely above a whisper. "I can't give you back our world, but I wanted to give you something. They're happy." A tear fell down my face and splashed onto my lap. "They've grown gardens, just like you knew they would."

"Thank you," she said, her voice thick. "Thank you, so much."

I sniffed and smiled, tears falling in earnest. "You shouldn't say things like that," I told her, trying to laugh through the tears. "Don't you know this is Faery?"

Kamharida turned and embraced me, pulling me tight against her warm chest. "I don't care," she said, as I started sobbing against her, my arms going around her body. "I don't care at all. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I choked out through my tears, and we held each other while we wept.

The human connection started to ease some of my agony. I still didn't leave my rooms, but I stopped picking at my food, and I fell asleep faster after waking up in cold sweats or with a scream on my lips and tears on my face.