Since words will not be enough to stop the fighting, I will try action. The Court of Mercy no doubt expects the man who stood in front of you and killed two people out of rage and terror, but I will try to give them the man you expect me to be. As I write this, there is less than a day before I will leave to try to stem the flood of pain that I willingly unleashed. The only thing I have been able to think of that might work is to go to the King of Mercy, kneel to him, offer my apology, and accept the price of my actions. I don't know how he will react, or what he might choose to do to me. I do know that I have to try, because I believe that I cannot face that look in your eyes again.

You have changed my life, Leah Escarra. Please believe that I want to be the kind of man you can look at with pride and love instead of horror and disappointment. I think it will take time, but I will strive to leash myself, and learn how to answer injury with justice instead of revenge. I won't ask you to forgive me, or to accept a single action as change. My choice is to put my effort first into repairing the damage I have caused, even if the cost is very steep, and then into proving myself to you. If I am able to return, my desire is to be able to kneel at your feet and tell you that I have ended a second war, with far less bloodshed than the first.

I have asked Alluin and Zhiolas to spend time with you when they can, so you will not need to be so alone while I am gone. Alluin was offended I would even feel I had to ask, and Zhiolas only rolled his eyes at me, so I think (hope) that you will have friendly company in my absence. Zhiolas may be called away to the border if things escalate, but until then, I hope you will take your pestering to them. They are both honorable men, and they enjoy your company very much.

If you choose to miss me, you are welcome to my space and my possessions. The enclosed key is to the adjoining door. I hope that it does not disgust you that I will likely be thinking of you every waking hour. You are my most cherished friend, and I will try my best to repair the things I have broken.

Yours, Dain

32. Winter

Chapter 32

Winter