I spent a lot of time thinking about my family, lying on the carpets staring up at the painted ceiling of fae gods and legends. It had been more than six months. James and I had vanished into the wilderness. Even with our itinerary, the rangers never would have found his body, buried deep beneath granite with all of our supplies. They would have had no reason to bring sniffer dogs to the lake where I'd spent six days dying, and aside from my scent I would have left no trace. It would be one of those unsolved mysteries, with no closure for anybody.

Had they had a funeral for us? Tried to give themselves something to close the door? I struggled to imagine it. No bodies, no blood, only a missing person's report. No, I decided at last. They would be telling themselves stories, ways that we could be alive, telling themselves that they were plausible and not outlandish. Pretending that maybe we'd eloped and were living off in Europe together, or that we'd gotten lost and were having a real wilderness adventure, living in a cave and hunting deer with spears. Surely one day we'd come back, or someone would see us, and then they'd know what had happened.

I was lying there, staring at the ceiling, when someone knocked on my door. Dain, I thought, adrenaline surging. But when I got up and opened the door, it wasn't Dain.

It was Alluin.

I stared at him, my arms wrapped around myself in an oversized sweater, wearing pajama pants. I hadn't bathed in days and I knew I looked awful, especially compared to his airbrushed beauty and fine clothing.

"May I come in, Leah?" he asked, his voice gentle.

I nodded and stepped aside, letting the General of the First Army into my sitting room, then closed the door behind him and turned to face him.

Alluin looked around my room for a moment, his stance relaxed but strong. Then he sighed, and walked over to one of the couches, sitting down where Dain had sat that first time, when I'd made him listen to me read that romance novel to him. Dain's friend – my friend – looked up at me with compassion on his beautiful face, and set his hand on the couch next to him.

"Come sit with me, Leah," he said.

He sounded kind, and kindness had been so lacking in my life that I almost burst into tears. But I only sniffed and nodded again, walking over and sitting down next to him, my arms still wrapped around myself.

"Dare I ask if you're alright?" Alluin asked. He turned towards me, reaching over and taking my hand off of my shoulder, holding it between his calloused palms. "I heard what happened." He took a deep breath. "We all did."