I watch her walk away and greet another table, wondering if she thinks I’m being stood up. And then I wonder if I’m only wondering that because I’m afraid I’m going to get stood up.

It’s not that I think this is an actual date to get stood up for. I’d just be pissed if I squeezed into this dress for no reason. Also, I made a really great list of places for him to check out, and even though there’s only a 0.03 percent chance I’ll read his book, it’d be a shame for his readers to miss out on the destinations I picked out for him.

I pick up my martini glass, admiring the perfectly preserved rose before bringing the peony-infused sugar rim to my mouth. It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to throw my head back and moan. I’ve had a little bit of a dry spell of late, but even if I hadn’t, this drink is damn right orgasmic. It would be a good idea not to get drunk tonight, but with the way these cocktails are set up, I’m not sure that’s an option anymore.

I try to take small, slow sips as I wait for Jasper to arrive. I pull my phone out of my purse and glance at the time when my glass is nearing empty. He’s not late; I just really like getting places early. Especially when I’m feeling nervous. Having the opportunity to survey the land and get comfortable helps ease my anxiety. I slide my phone back inside my purse, refusing to doomscroll and instead being present in the moment.

The low whispers of business partners schmoozing clients and couples celebrating anniversaries hum throughout the restaurant. The delicate sounds of piano keys float from the corner of the room, playing just loud enough to both disguise awkward lulls in conversations and set the mood. It may be a Wednesday night, but that hasn’t prevented every table from being filled. Waiters glide through the room, almost as if in a dance, replacing the empty martini glasses with full ones and setting plates covered with mouthwatering food in front of patrons.

I’m trying to eavesdrop on the couple in the booth behind me, something about the babysitter not respecting boundaries, when the energy in the room shifts.

I don’t even know how to describe it, the subtle shift in the air. It seems as if all conversations come to a sudden hush; the only sound is the buzz of excitement bouncing from table to table. Goose bumps trail down my arms and the hair at the nape of my neck rises. My breathing speeds up, and if everyone around me didn’t seem so thrilled, I’d wonder if this was my adrenaline warning me to get the freak out of Dodge.

And that’s when I see him.