“I won’t waste it,” he says. He steps closer again, this time, taking my jaw in his hand, tilting my face upward. He looks at me, my eyes and mouth, and then he kisses me. It’s hard, there’s nothing tender in this kiss. He doesn’t slip his tongue between my lips. He isn’t tasting me. He’s laying claim to me.

When he breaks the kiss, he doesn’t pull back. Instead, with eyes locked on mine, he reaches under my skirt, smears his hand over the cum drying on my thigh, slips his fingers inside my panties.

“I want my cum on you. I want it inside you. I want it to mark you.” He rubs me, and somehow, feeling as raw as I do after that fucking, I’m aroused again. I want him again.

He grins. He knows it. He pinches my clit. It hurts and he knows that too, I can see it on his face, but he takes a minute to pull his hand out from under my skirt.

When he releases me, I have to grip him to remain standing because my knees are wobbling.

He wraps his hands around my arms. It takes me a minute to get my breathing under control. To straighten my legs. To process his words. To try to understand what he’s saying.

I look up at him, but am unable to speak.

“It’s not too fast. There’s no such thing. I don’t want to stop what’s happening between us,” he says, searching my face. “If I were a good person, I’d walk away, but I’m not. I’m not. I’ve done bad things. My hands are so fucking dirty. You need to know that. You do, don’t you? You know that?”

I nod.

“Do you know what you want?” he asks.

I know this is important. I know he’s important. But I can’t say that. I’m still caught on his other words.

“Do you?” he repeats.

“What do you mean that time won’t be afforded you?”

“I think you understand.”

We look at each other for a long while, the only sound is that of Pepper’s soft snores coming from the other room.

“Do you want me to go?” he finally asks. “I’ll ask this exactly once so think hard.”

I swallow, every hair on my body standing on end. Every nerve alive.

“Do you, Natalie? Do you want me to go?”

My mind is whirling, so much is happening so fast. I look away, down at my feet, at the cracked, old tile beneath them.

He squeezes my arms. “Answer my question.”

“No.”

14

Sergio