“I want to scrub my skin,” I said finally, inhaling a loud breath. “I want to burn my clothes and wash with scalding hot water.”

“Pull over, Salvatore.”

“I want—”

“Pull over.”

I did. Lucia reached over and wrapped her arms around me. I buried my face in her shoulder and wept like no man should weep. “I’ve never wanted to leave a place so badly. I’ve never wanted to leave a person—”

“Shh.”

“So many lives wasted.”

She held me, and I clung to her. A lifetime’s worth of pain and sadness welled out of me. So much was lost for so many of us, all of it so pointless, so unnecessary. So much death, so much anger and jealousy and hate. So much I needed to purge until there was nothing left, nothing at all but this broken, exhausted body.

When I pulled back, I found Lucia’s face stained with tears. She wiped mine away, just kept brushing my face with her thumbs, looking at me, looking at me, not letting me go.

“Don’t leave,” I said finally. “I don’t want to lose you, Lucia. Not you too. You deserve so much better than this, than me…” She hugged me to her again, fresh tears pouring from her eyes. “I have no right…”

“Come with me,” she said, pulling back. “Come with me now, and we’ll start again. A new beginning.”

I shook my head. “I shouldn’t have asked…I’m—my world, Lucia, it’s dark. It’s so damn dark inside. You deserve light. You deserve carefree and happy and light. So much light.”

“And you don’t think you do? You stubborn fool.”

She kissed me, a salty kiss.

“My brother—”

“Come with me,” she said again, this time more firmly. “Right now. We’ll drive. Come with me, please, Salvatore.”

“I love you, do you know that?” How could a grown man weep like this?

“It’s you who doesn’t know I love you.”

When she kissed me that time, something inside me shifted. I felt it like a physical thing in my chest, my gut. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt her, her body in my arms, her lips on mine, her tears wet on my face. I kissed her back, inhaling deeply, my tongue inside her mouth, my hands pulling her closer and closer because I couldn’t be away again. I couldn’t have her away again. And so, when we pulled back, I smiled and turned the car around, and I drove south, leaving everything behind and just driving away with the girl I loved beside me.

Lucia’s Epilogue

Six Months Later

We did it. We drove to Florida. We drove as far as we could from New Jersey and ended up on the very tip of Key West. We bought a modest old house with a strip of private beach and started again.