“It’s okay. He’s been waking up at night,” I lie. I don’t want him to feel any worse than he already does. Jacob lets out a long cry. “I’d better go settle him down.”

Salvatore nods. I realize he hasn’t even taken his jacket off. I go to Jacob, pick him up out of his crib, cradle him, kiss the top of his perfect head, kiss the soft dark hair there.

“Shh, baby. It’s okay. Shh.”

It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep again. And when he does, I lay him back down and tuck him in, but by the time I return to the living room, Salvatore’s gone.

31

Natalie

I don’t dream of Sergio often. I wish I could. But the nights I do, I wake up crying. Tonight’s one of them. Maybe it’s because Salvatore was just here. Maybe it’s what he told me. Maybe it’s just the mention of Lucia DeMarco’s name.

And it’s strange, although I can’t remember the dreams themselves, I do remember feeling safe, even with the bittersweet edge. Even knowing I’ll miss him that much more the following day. Jacob keeps me busy and I’m so grateful for him. I’m not sure I’d survive this if it weren’t for him.

It’s four in the morning when I wake up with tears on my cheeks. I switch on the light and get up, knowing I won’t be getting any more sleep tonight. I go to the dresser, open the drawer where, at the back, I keep a box. I carry it to the bed, open it. Inside are just a few things. Memories. The first is the ring. His ring. The Benedetti family crest dark and proudly displayed. I always notice it on Salvatore’s finger too.

I slip it onto my finger. It’s so big and heavy, I have to hold it in place to look at it.

I’m to give it to Jacob when he’s sixteen. It’s part of the agreement. I’m not yet sure I can, but it’s what Franco expects.

But I’m not above going back on my word with Franco Benedetti. I don’t want Jacob involved in this life. I don’t want him to die the way his father died.

Slipping it off my finger, I set it back inside the box and smile at the next thing I see. An 8X10 of us on our wedding day. Sergio is holding my hand and smiling so wide. And he’s just whispered something into my ear that made me laugh so hard, I’m almost doubled over.