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Chapters (66)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Chapter Sixty
  64. Chapter Sixty-One
  65. Chapter Sixty-Two
  66. Acknowledgments

I hated to admit it, but I was frightened of Elliott, of the man he had become. I decided to go back to Elle’s. I needed to walk some of the way. It was one of those glorious “autumn in New York” September days. This time last year, I would’ve gladly breathed it all in, even the questionable smells of the sewer. The crispness in the air danced jocularly with the sun’s warmth. I was its grateful beneficiary. Today I just felt old and weary. The elements nudged at me, but my smile and the lightness in my heart had already gone into hibernation. I was letting Elliott rob me of all my joys. My phone buzzed. Speak of the devil. I hesitated.

“Where the hell are you?” he said. “Forget that, I don’t give a shit. I’m done with you, you temperamental bitch. Don’t even try coming home. I’ve changed the locks.” I didn’t respond. I was numb. Elliott had rarely talked to me the way he had in the last few days. Calling me names only on occasion. Over money. Sometimes over Griffin. It dawned on me. Elliott was high.

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Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Two

Reggie met me at the door with a big hug, and the smell of comfort food wafted from the apartment. “Elle is feeding Kendall. I know it’s not your usual gourmet meal, but I made a homemade chicken potpie for us to have tonight.” It was the kind of meal a doting mother would serve her teenage daughter after a dramatic breakup.

I returned the hug and said, “That sounds perfect.” And it did.

That night was different for us. We were very somber. It felt like a full-fledged death. They were abundantly kind and generous with their time, with their love and support. We all realized my marriage had unraveled. It seemed premature. It seemed sudden. It hadn’t been.

We didn’t talk about brevity, quality, or recriminations. We mourned. Grief must be fed. I finally allowed myself to cry in front of them. They didn’t judge me. They embraced me. They forced me to eat chicken, carrots, and the peas from the potpie. I even tried one bite of the store-bought crust. It wasn’t half bad. Both Henry and Elliott would still be blending cold water and butter and flour. “Is this a béchamel? It’s delicious. And the baked apples are tasty.”

“Oh honey, it’s cream of mushroom soup and a little mayonnaise. I don’t even know what a béchamel is. The baked apples are Stouffer’s,” Reggie said. “I think our little foodie is busted.”