Back Ask No Questions
Chapters (69)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Prologue
  5. Chapter One
  6. Chapter Two
  7. Chapter Three
  8. Chapter Four
  9. Chapter Five
  10. Chapter Six
  11. Chapter Seven
  12. Chapter Eight
  13. Chapter Nine
  14. Chapter Ten
  15. Chapter Eleven
  16. Chapter Twelve
  17. Chapter Thirteen
  18. Chapter Fourteen
  19. Chapter Fifteen
  20. Chapter Sixteen
  21. Chapter Seventeen
  22. Chapter Eighteen
  23. Chapter Nineteen
  24. Chapter Twenty
  25. Chapter Twenty-One
  26. Chapter Twenty-Two
  27. Chapter Twenty-Three
  28. Chapter Twenty-Four
  29. Chapter Twenty-Five
  30. Chapter Twenty-Six
  31. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  32. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  33. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  34. Chapter Thirty
  35. Chapter Thirty-One
  36. Chapter Thirty-Two
  37. Chapter Thirty-Three
  38. Chapter Thirty-Four
  39. Chapter Thirty-Five
  40. Chapter Thirty-Six
  41. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  42. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  43. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  44. Chapter Forty
  45. Chapter Forty-One
  46. Chapter Forty-Two
  47. Chapter Forty-Three
  48. Chapter Forty-Four
  49. Chapter Forty-Five
  50. Chapter Forty-Six
  51. Chapter Forty-Seven
  52. Chapter Forty-Eight
  53. Chapter Forty-Nine
  54. Chapter Fifty
  55. Chapter Fifty-One
  56. Chapter Fifty-Two
  57. Chapter Fifty-Three
  58. Chapter Fifty-Four
  59. Chapter Fifty-Five
  60. Chapter Fifty-Six
  61. Epilogue
  62. Prologue
  63. Chapter One
  64. Acknowledgements
  65. Credits
  66. More from Claire Allan …
  67. About the Author
  68. Also by Claire Allan
  69. About the Publisher

From the garden wall I can see all around me. I picture how he would have been able to watch us as we walked home from school in a pack, small groups of us drifting off at each street that broke off from Broadway. He would’ve had a clear view all the way up to St Mary’s Chapel from his preferred spot.

Do I think he was being predatory when he stood watching us? Chatting to those of us who passed him? I know I didn’t at the time. I think of the sad, scared man I spoke to last night. Something about it feels off to me, but God knows I’ve been taken in by protestations of innocence before.

Digging my hands deeper into my pockets, I start to walk up towards the chapel. A slow movie of my childhood memories is playing in my head as I do so.

I can see the garden we used to hide in during our more adventurous games of hide-and-seek. Can see the low wall I sat on making daisy chains while waiting for my friends to finish their dinner. Those were such innocent times.

I’m so lost in my own thoughts that I almost don’t hear someone call my name. A male voice, low, gravelly – as if fighting off a cold or a cough – breaks through my reverie and grabs my attention. I look up, see a tall figure maybe fifteen feet away from me. A black beanie hat pulled down on a weather-worn face, a dark beard that needs trimming. A bulky khaki coat, dark blue jeans. Hands, like mine, buried in his pockets, shoulders hunched. A pair of once white trainers, now scuffed and grey, on his feet. He could be any age from twenty-five to forty-five. I can’t quite tell, but he is looking at me, and he definitely knows who I am.

‘Are you too good to say hello to me now?’ I hear him say.

There’s a cheekiness to his voice and I look closer until something about him becomes familiar to me.

‘Niall?’ I ask.

He laughs, which ends in a coughing fit that causes him to fold over onto himself, his hand covering his mouth until he catches his breath. ‘You’re almost right. To be fair, it’s a fifty-fifty chance.’

‘Declan,’ I say, and I know that I’m right. I’m talking to one of the Heaney twins. They sat three rows back from me in primary school and liked to pull at my plaited hair and steal my fruit for break. But they were actually funny and sound and let me join in their games back in the street.

‘You’ve got me!’ he confirms. ‘I have to say it, Ingrid. You’re looking well. I like the blonde hair! The years have definitely been kinder to you than they have been to me.’