Deflated but not surprised, Alyssa thanked Lynn and headed back to her teammates, making a quick detour for the sludge the department called coffee. It tasted like a mud puddle, but it was black and strong and that was all she cared about for the moment. Well, that and the fact that it gave her a few more precious moments before she had to face her disappointed partner.

Except Cord was sitting in the break room, his left ankle resting on his right knee, arms crossed, expecting her.

Ignoring her partner’s disapproving glare, she sipped her coffee before saying, ‘I didn’t tell you last night when you called because, for one, you’re cradling a lot as it is with Sara and the babies, and for two, I remember how difficult it was for you back in May what with the anniversary of your sister’s death, and frankly, I didn’t want to put your mind back in that place. That doesn’t mean I trust you any less, not with my life or my family’s.’

Cord said nothing at first. Then slowly, he uncrossed his legs and leaned forward until his elbows rested on the table, hands clasped together. ‘Let me get this straight; you trust me, but you’re operating on a double standard.’

‘That’s not—’

‘I’m not finished. You realize that if I had treated you with kid gloves after the Evan Bishop case, you would’ve handed me my ass on a platter.’ It was a bald statement with no room for argument. ‘It’s a double standard, no matter how you spin it, and to be candid, Lys, it pisses me off.’

Alyssa winced. He was right. ‘I know, and—’

He cut her off again. ‘This partnership of ours works because we trust each other personally and professionally, and we have each other’s backs, no matter what. But if you start breaking down that system, then I gotta start thinking like maybe you don’t think I’m quite as capable of performing my job, which means our well-oiled system is going to splinter.’

When Cord pushed to his feet, Alyssa thought he was finished, but he still had more. This time, the hurt in her partner’s voice was clear. ‘If I’d known confiding in you about what happened with Shelley would result in this, I would’ve kept it to myself.’

Alyssa felt her partner’s words like a punch to the gut. ‘Cord, everything you said is one hundred percent on the nose. And I’m sorry. I really am. You don’t deserve that, and for the record, I have never doubted your ability to do your job or have my back. Ever. I want to be clear on that. It doesn’t excuse what I’ve done, even if my heart was in the right place. All I can offer is my apology and hope you’ll accept it.’