Of course, I know that I can’t actually write my application essay about Levi, that not only is the idea pathetic, but it will also be shot down by both Dr. Wilson and Mrs. Oh. Even my small brain should stretch beyond the confines of a boy. It should be singing more complicated, fulfilling songs than simply a ditty that repeats: Levi, Levi, Levi.

And yet: Levi, Levi, Levi.

Dr. Wilson said to write about whatever I wanted, that he has a professional writer on staff who will help clean up my essay later. Mrs. Oh said to dig deep and tell the story of Chloe Wynn Berringer. The problem is there really is no story of Chloe Wynn Berringer. At least, not yet.

“I wrote about having cancer as a kid and that’s why one day I want to become a pediatric oncologist,” Levi says, his body stiffening below me.

“Wait, you had cancer?” I put down my computer and roll over so I can see his eyes. Though our MO generally is to keep things light between us, this seems too important to gloss over. “How did I not already know this?”

“It was before you knew me. I’m fine now.” He does a flipping-a-pancake motion, so I turn around, back to the way we were lying, head to chest, the universal couple-in-the-park position.

We are a couple in the park, I tell myself with a secret thrill.

“That must have been rough,” I say. Here’s what I want to know but don’t ask: What kind of cancer? and Could it come back? and How are you so amazing? Also That’s not fair and I’m so sorry and Thank you for sharing with me.

“Yeah, it sucked. Though I think it was harder on my parents and my sister. I was too little to really understand.”

“How old were you?” I can feel his hand in my hair, a slow combing.

“Seven.” I squeeze his ankle, the only body part I can reach. My reading buddy Cesar’s age. Cesar, who is both impossibly young and also impossibly old, someone who has lost too much already and still is made joyful by a Pokémon card. I think about a smaller version of Levi, rendered bald by an IV drip.

The sadness sets deep.

“That kind of explains your fears list. Why you worry so much about disappointing your parents, maybe?” I ask Levi. I’m seeing Cesar tomorrow. I make a mental note to bring him something special for moving up a reading level at school. Maybe I’ll stop at that gaming store on Melrose, find a powerful Pokémon card that no one else in his class will have.